Judge — July 23, 1921 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Let the dots do the work. Why, after all, should the reader’s mind be al- lowed to go fallow? Is it not better for the reader to exert his imagination to the utmost, rather than to remain passive, entirely in the hands of his author? What a prod to the imagination is each dotting jab of the pen!” Then Idlewild sat down to dot his last novel. In two hours he dotted it. It was alldots. There were no words. Hesent it to his publisher. His publisher sent it back with the curt remark: “ This is dotty—are you?’’ He sent it to ten other publishers only to have it speedity and derisively returned. He said, “I shall publish it myself’’; and despite the forebodings and jeremiads of his well-wishers, he got out a large and elaborate edition. “DOTS,” read the blurb on the jacket— “The New Bible : Everyman's Book ... A Novel, a Philosophy, an Encyclopedia.—What You Will . . . Make Your Own Book. Use Your Imagination. We supply the Dots. Honi soit qui mal y pense.” The critics passed judgment: “Disgusting.” “Unspeakably indecent.” “Most suggestive book of the year.” “Compels thought.” “Nice reading for the hammock.” “Too exquisite for words.” “A simpleton could appreciate its sim- plicity; a savant would be astounded at its profound philosophy.” “The best novel we ever read.” “A delightfully lucid treatise on Ein- stein’s relativity, and the infinite.” And it was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature. Said the awarders, justifying their selection: “DOTS is not only a book—it is the book, it is a// books. It is more than a book: it is you, it is I, it is all of us. It is the cosmos in a capsule. We award it the prize not only because of the excellence of its treatment, the comprehensiveness of its scope; but because, with a sweeping gesture of finality, it abolishes the problem of the book-publisher. Let everyone own a copy of DOTS, and the need for all other printed volumes, past, present, and future, is for- ever eliminated.” What is the end of this tale? I wish I knew. For three hours I have been tear- ing my hair, and biting the end of my typewriter, trying to think how the blamed ENLIGHTEN ‘THE. “ACTORS” THAT THINK EVERYTHING THEY DO IS FUNNY BECAUSE. thing ought to close, and—aha! at last—I have it. Idlewild, I thank thee...... A Dress Problem By Liva Keck Wiceins AID one, accounted to be bright, “Why don’t they write Some verse on woman’s skirts— These rhyme experts— I mean the garments now in vogue,” This rogue Explained, and winked an eye— When pointing to a lass Of class Who happened to be passing by. I looked at it—that little shred Of weaver’s art, and said “T really do not know Why it is so, But maybe those who court the Muse Refuse To choose a theme so small. These dreamy writing chaps, maybe Can’t see Those modish little skirts at all!” HELP THE UPLIFT BY TAKING OBJECTIONAGLE HUMANS OUT OF THE MONKEY COMEDIES EXPLAIN TO TsiE LOWER ORDER OF COMEDIANS * THAT A PAIR OF LARGE SHoEs DOESN'T PUT THEM IN THE CHAPLIN CLASS. bes od flows ‘Re tide of Life until like the dawning of 9 & new day. L Love, in full flood-i biah DISCOURAGE THE ‘USE OF “STARS” WHO HAVE NOTHING BUT EYELASHES To RECOMMEND THEM BOIL IN OIL EVERYONE. IN ANY WAY RESPONSIGLE ABOLISH “ART TITLES! FoR SERIALS. "THEY DON'T FOOL ANYONE, Drawn by J. Norman Lyxp Succestep Work ror Tue Movinc-Picture Censors.