Judge — July 16, 1921 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1ost the ted lat gh. the An Honest Glass of Beer By Ricnarp Le Gatiienne WHEN Senators and such like change their places of abode, What heart so hard to ask of them that they should leave behind ‘The cup that for so many years along this mortal road Has cheered the lot and warmed the heart of usual mankind? Of course not! It were owlish, And positively ghoulish, To deny his cobwebbed bottle To the Senatorial throttle; So it’s permits all the way For the champagne and tokay— But there’s something I should like to ask | and have an answer clear: How about a permit for an honest glass of beer? The prohibition officer, at thought of rich men’s wines, Grows gentle as a sucking dove, though adamant he be, To the plutocratic thirst with swift tender- ness inclines, Though his ears are closed to pity for the likes of you and me; Though he pours down the gutter, With a zeal no tongue can utter, Even robs us of our yeast-cake For, presumably, our soul’s sake; As he frisks us for our flask, There’s a thing I’d like to ask, Yes, there’s something I should like to ask and have an answer clear: How about a permit for an honest glass of beer? When the miner and the weary clerk the long day’s work had done, With tired hearts and frazzled nerves for wife and kids and home, They used to feel they’d earned the right to have a little fun, And watched the bubble in the glass, or blow the laughing foam; But today it’s toil and trouble For even the smallest bubble, And be sure it’s your undoing If you start to try home-brewing— Well, you let them put it over, Yes, you let them put it over! But there’s something I should like to ask and have an answer clear: How about a permit for an honest glass of beer? The Legacy By Epwin H. Brancuarp REAT-AUNT MEHITABEL had been eccentric all her life; it was no surprise to her relatives to learn that she had left no will. But after the funeral, when the relatives had gathered to discuss the matter, it was decided that some search should be made for a paper, or any indica- tion for the disposition of the estate. The small safe in the library was the most likely place for such a paper, but it was dosed. After some discussion, Melissa, as We WA "asap ho hee!! Drawn by Pact Remiy Know ence 1s Power: THEREFORE PRoFEssoR BIGBEAN NEEDS NO MOTOR FOR HIS FLIVVER. the relative most concerned, summoned a locksmith. This man demanded and re- ceived fifteen dollars before he began work; within a few moments the door of the safe stood open. Melissa, surrounded by rel- atives, advanced to the examination. Every compartment except one was empty. In that was found a paper, folded many times. Taking this to the window, Melissa unfolded it and cleared her throat. But she never spoke again in this world. Written across the top of the paper, in the eccentric chirography of great-aunt Mehitabel, was the message: “This is the combination to the safe.” Burglar Wanted She powdered her nose, rouged her lips, brushed her eyebrows, powdered her nose, pointed her eyewinkers, “blushed” her cheeks and went to bed. 288 He—Did you hear the story of 288? She—No, tell me. He—I can’t. It’s two gross. 33 His Big Moment He dashed into his room. He was in great haste. A tall, good-looking chap, and young to be a man of such great affairs. His eyes twinkled brightly tonight; he was thrilled. He was dressing his best and took hours to get his hair parted in the middle. He was “stepping out” for the first time with a Follies girl. Learn to Dance You can learn Fox-Trot, One-Step, Two- Step, Waltz and latest "tip-to-the-minute’, society dances in your own home by derful Peak System of Mail Instruction, New Diagram Method. Easily learncdino music needed; thousands taught successfully; ‘success absoltitely guarantee Write for Special Terms. ‘Send today for FREE information and surprisingly low offer. WILLIAM CHANDLER PEAK, M. B. Room 167 ‘4737 Broadway, Chicago, I1. Ladies Let Cuticura Keep Your Skin Fresh and Young ,Olntment,Taleum,25c. everywhere. Forsamy ScgRSl Gtoara Labersterion Dept 7 Malden, Mase, comicbooks.com