Judge — July 9, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Not a Bolshevist—John Daniel, the foreign-born gorilla who died recently, must have been a pretty good citizen. Though the climate was against him he did not advocate the overthrow of the gov- ernment.—Toledo Blade. Housing Problem—The Policeman— You folks can’t stay in the park all night. You'll have to go home. Mr. Doubleup—But it’s not our turn, officer. We share our flat with another family and they occupy it at night.— Houston Post. A Monkey Home—“ What is this Dar- winian theory, anyhow?” asked Mr. Wapping. “So far as I can learn,” replied Mr. Twobble, “it’s the theory that the original family tree produced cocoanuts.”—Bir- mingham Age- Herald. One Reason — Teacher — Tell me, George, why does the cuckoo lay its eggs in the nests of other birds? George—Probably because of the housing shortage.—Boston Globe. Synchronization ll ii senaeTay N’T BOTH GET Kasper (Stock- “Tr’s DARN FUNNY THAT OVER AT THE SAME TIM holm). Souvenirs Too Few—Another proof that the war was stopped too soon may be found in the report that the Government cannot supply the demand for German cannon for the village parks.—Cincinnati Enquirer. His Views—‘“Is your neighborhood a good one in which to locate?” “Naw, my neighborhood is composed of poor people trying to act rich. Nothing pays here but beauty parlors.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. A Dainty Dip oye IS MIGHTY PROUD OF HIS HANDS. I’Lt BET HE HAS THEM MAD Ep. AND HE ONLY PUTS THEM INTO THE POCKETS OF DRESS Coats.” —Die Muskete (Vienna). CURE! Modernized—“ How was the amateur performance of ‘Macbeth’?” “Not so bad.” “And how was the sleep-walking scene?” “Strictly up-to-date. Lady Macbeth carried an electric flashlight instead of a candle.”—Birmingham A ge- Herald. Winning a Reputation—“How did you get the reputation of being a great connoisseur of art? ’ “Whenever I saw a picture that seemed to me particularly ridiculous, I declared that it was sublime.” —Boston Transcript. Getting Even—At one of the players’ clubs they tell this story: A certain youthful and sarcastic dra- matic critic had been particularly severe upon the efforts of an actress whom more than once he had scored unmercifully. In course of time the two met and the actress, with an affectation of humility, said: “Really, Mr. Smith, I think it cruel of you to roast me like that, especially when it is considered that I have three children and a husband who is a dramatic critic to support.” —Philadelphia Ledger. Deserved Death—“What’s become of the old-fashioned dramatic critic who used to write about an ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ show and compliment the dogs?” “T’ve located his successor in a little Western town.” “Well? ’ “Tn reviewing ‘Hamlet,’ as presented in the local theatre, he said the large number of fatalities at the end of the play reconciled the audience to the performance.”’—Bir- mingham Age- Herald. Wonder if They Would?—“ These are genuine old masters,” said Newrich, show- ing a friend through his palatial home. “T suppose you are very proud of them.” “Yes, and I daresay the old masters would have considerable respect for me if they knew what I paid for them.””—Boston Transcript. Kept Something On—“ Was that your model going out as I came in?” asked the visitor to the studio of a painter-friend. “Yes; and a very good model she is,” was the artist’s reply. “Does she ever pose in the nude?” “No; she never takes off her diamond rings.” —Yonkers Statesman. Realism—Friend (viewing picture)— How realistic! It fairly makes my mouth water. Artist—A sunset makes your mouth water? Friend—Bless me! I thought it was @ fried egg.—Boston Transcript.