Judge — July 2, 1921 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FREE BOOK Learn to Dance You can learn Fox-Trot, One-Step, Two- Step, Walt latest up-to-the-minute’, society your own home by the won- derful Peak 5; im of Mail Instruction, New Diagram Method. Easily learned; no music ; thousands taught ‘successfully; ‘success absolutely guaranteed, Write for Special ms. Send today for FREE information and surprisingly low off WILLIAM CHANDLER PEAK, M. Room 1634737 Broadway, Chica; LEARN PIANO! This Interesting Free Book Ii Fos YOUR CAR The price of some cars has come down—that of others has gone up. Which car will give you 100% value for your needs? The best car made might not serve your require- ments as well as a cheaper one. You can have expert advice free of charge. If you want a car and will fill out this coupon com- pletely—furnishing addi- tional details of your needs, if necessary—you can obtain the unbiased service of the Motor De- partment of LEsLiE’s Week.y. This free ser- vice is now made availa- ble to readers of JupGE. COUPON Harotv W. Stauson, M.E. Manager, Motor Department Lesuie’s WEEKLY 225 Fifth Avenue, New York City I am considering the purchase of a car to cost about & and am espe- cially interested in one of the quirements for a car are as follows: Capacity... Type of body Driven and cared for by { . lL have owned other cars makes: The following cars of approximately the type in which I am interested are handled by dealers in my territory Please advise me as to the car best suited to my requirements. Name... Address... Slogan Americanus: Brew and Boost By Benjamin De Casseres Don Marquis’s Old Soak T last! At last! Vindicated! Ho, all ye who have been, are now or will be tipsy, intoxicated, inebriated, in your cups, fuddled, mellow, boozy, groggy, beery, pickled, topheavy, jagged, potvaliant, potulent, whittled, tight, primed, happy, muddled, corned, raddled, lushy, pi-eyed, three sheets in the wind, half-seas over, sewed up, stewed, obfuscated, cock-eyed—come all ye to the blessings invoked on your grape-crowned heads by our Plumed Knight and “Sun Dial” Champion, Don Marquis! Our Lord and Chief has given unto us the Book of the Hour which if you do not read, recite, memorize and boost is un-American. It is “The Old Soak and Hail and Fare- well!” (Doubleday, Page & Co.) Its motto might well be, “To drink water is human; to booze is divine.” Don is one of America’s greatest prod- ucts and one of its few great writers— satirist, poet, epigrammatist. Inthe mouth of the Old Soak he enlarges on the barroom as the very cornerstone of democracy, the home of the free and the roosting place of the brave. It bulges with humor, satire and solid smashes at the Blue Noses in every line. Nothing like it has appeared since Mr. Dooley. Don Marquis has the gift of smiling ridicule—the gift of Anatole France. The Old Soak is intellectual alcohol—1oo proof. The second part of the book contains poetry on the Question of the Hour. They are serio-comic reveries on the days and bums that are no more. Each poem is dedicated to some one who drank with Don—drank and laughed and reveled with him in cafés, back rooms, barrooms, and over the musty. Hypocrisy, fake and gloom have no place in Don’s makeup. He’s for life, joy and the pursuit of Scotch. You will enjoy these poems as you have not enjoyed a volume of poems since Anacreon and Omar. Look to Your Grinders You, gentle readers of JupDGE, have borne with me in my grouches, my dull weeks and my occasional clownings. You are all so human. I thank you! Well, let’s make this Boost Week. First of all I want to boost your teeth. You may go bald, you may even become deaf or have your pocket flask snitched— 34 but you can’t do without teeth! Look at the trouble we have in bringing our teeth into the world. Isn’t it worth while keeping them? No teeth—no chicken, no porterhouse, no walnuts. I am reading a book called “‘Teeth and Health,” by Doctors Thomas J. Ryan and Edwin F. Bowers (G. P. Putnam’s Sons). I believe after reading this Romance of Molars that teeth are the very foundations of civilization—because civilization is founded on health. No teeth, no health. Iam willing to lay a wager that the trouble with our Blue-Law Glooms and our witch-finders is poor teeth. They . have more jaw than tooth. This book is unquestionably the best and most exhaustive study of the teeth ever made. It tells you how to take care of them, what sound teeth mean to the baby, and the foods that corrode the ivories. It ought to be placed in every school in the country. Those Zell People COINCIDENCES are curious things. Whoever invented coincidences gave us something to think over. I’m thinking. For I have just come across “‘Zell’’ (Henry G. Aikman; Alfred A. Knopf). Every- body’s talking about “Zell.” It seems to be running right in back of “‘ Main Street” and “Moon-Calf.” Franklin P. Adams. Edna Ferber, Hal Mencken and Johnny Farrar are all boosting it. So I dug into it. The boosters weren’t wrong. I now put my O.K. on this book as an entertaining work of American fiction. But about the coincidence. I had just finished Doctors Ryan and Bowers on teeth, when, on opening “Zell” (no book reviewer has a day off) I ran right into the protruding teeth of Winifred Zell. Win- ifred had a beak-nose and teeth—that spoiled her life. She couldn’t get on the stage, she couldn’t marry, and, living in a small town, her teeth were common talk. Winifred had a brother whose teeth were all right, but he had a bundle of suppressed desires that gave him a pain. He wanted to be a baritone. But he be- came a Good Citizen in the end and Win- ifred was killed by an automobile while trying to save the life of her brother. A powerful, pathetic story, well told. Next week we'll have a sober talk on the low visibility of kitchen mice.