Judge — July 2, 1921 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Watch on the Whine AQ S Censor’s Dictionary.—Sex—The su- preme sin of nature. Virtue—The triumph of solid mahogany over solid fact. Censor—The equivalent in mush of $7,500. Birth—An innocent exposure of the body while coming from nowhere into America. Cleanliness— The eternal state of grace of Little Eva. Vamp—A woman that exists nowhere except in reality. Truth—The letters of Pollyanna to Little Rollo. Suggestion—a beaker of milk. Immorality—The double exposure of two scenes on the screen. Purity—Absence of temptation. Vice—Holding a lighted cigarette as though about to puff it. Sacrilege—Hinting that lightning may conceivably strike a church. Drama—A battle royal between heads of oak, spines of rubber and hearts of lettuce. —Benjamin de Casseres, in New York Sun. Feature Stuff—“Where away?” “To Central America to film about six reels.”” “But you have no actors with you.” “T’ve purchased the picture rights to a revolution.” —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Stranglehold —Hemmandhaw — I understand the stranglehold is barred. Shimmer pate—Only in wrestling. “What do you mean?” “Tt is still permitted on some dancing floors and in movie closeups.”—Youngs- town Telegram. A Sporting Judge—“Thirty days in the workhouse. That ought to cure you of speeding.” “Tt certainly will, your honor. Would you like to use my car while I’m in durance vile?” “No, thanks. I’ve seen you riding in that old bus of yours. It couldn’t do over forty miles an hour.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Confession—W. J. Bryan’s father once missed several large hams that had been hanging in his barn loft. He suspected that the thief did not live many miles away, but he made no direct charge against anyone; in fact, he refrained from men- tioning his loss to a single soul. A few days later his neighbor called. “Say, Judge,” said the man. “I heard you had some hams stole the other night.” “Yes,” replied the Judge very con- fidentially, “but don’t tell anyone. You and I are the only ones who know about it.’—Watertown Times. Explained—A guest in a Florida hotel complained to the manager: “Your restaurant is conducted in a very rotten way. At lunch today I found a hair in the ice-cream, a hair in the honey, and a hair in the apple-sauce.”” “Well, you see,” the manager explained, “the hair in the ice-cream came from the shaving of the ice. The hair in the honey came, I suppose, from the comb. But I can’t for the life of me understand about the hair in the apple-sauce, for I bought those apples myself, and they were all Baldwins.”—Detroit Free Press. The Other End—“ Are you the head of this concern?” asked the stranger entering the business establishment for the first time. “Oh, no,” was the reply of the man with a firm jaw. “I’m the end that does the kicking.” —Yonkers Statesman. A Cause Celebre “You YOURSELF ALSO CELEBRATED THE ANNIVERSARY OF Narotron! “| Dip NOT CELEBRATE, SIR, | OBSERVED THE DEATH O¢ THE TYRANT.” —Le Rire (Paris). 20 comicbooks.com XUM Sh D th sa de