Judge — June 25, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ni =) Wassermatterwithem? Jj" ion's Loss—Judge—Prisoner at the bar, have you anything to say why judgment should not be passed upon you? Prisoner—AM\l I has to say is this, judge if you hangs me, you hangs the best bass singer in the United Kingdom!—London in the Answers Impertinent—* There was an amusing ending of a civil case tried in a Wyoming court. It was an appeal case and on one side was a testy lawyer and on the other number of inexperienced attorneys. The arguments on both sides had been heard ent and the case closed for judg Suddenly one of the inexperienced law nd yers got up and addressed the court once a more. The testy lawyer stood it for a ne moment, but losing patience, he also rose ce The Thin One—Aur. 4 YRIENDS TELL ME THEY NEVER SEE YOU ANY MORE ¢ 6 The Fat One—Tuey vst pe very snowt-sicuten.—Le Rire (Par ind addressed the court in this wise “Your honor, I would beg with all re- sx) Next!—Now that a Michigan court has spect to point out to the court that my Ch declared it unlawful to search a man’s learned friend opposite is entirely out of PY + = hip pocket for liquor, Wayne Wheeler will order in addressing the court, and if I may n C4 MSWEO IE pA f gress to pass a law prohibiting be permitted to say so, the court has no ton Post. right to be listening to him.” The court, who at that time was writing, want ( trousers.—IWashi r een at nine Whee & Flubdub kicking put his head out in a belligerent way and , Hoptlad oe Heoteh— The Inquisitive “about , said: “Mr. Smith, it is a great piece of im if aire Sn cette: (Oko why He bought a preparation advertised pertinence on your part, to assume that whisky is called hootch. ‘The answer is, it significantly as non-alcoholic the court is listening tc him.” Philadel y isnot. Whisky isan alcoholic distillation, “* Well? hia Public Ledg | phia Public Ledger. 4 Hootch is a compound of hellfire, camphire “And found it as advertised. . Ce and mule-heel.""— Houston Post. Louisville Courier-Journal A Compromise 2 Lipbieti saidi tn first lady lawyer. “Counsel for the plain Die“ Where Have Vou bes?” Heap Big Kick— Makes home brew tiff smiled at the jury.” 7" y r 1 jury “On a raid.’ with a ‘kick,’ does he?” “Suppose we arrange a compromise “Dry raid?” “Too much so. If he added two drops _ ladies,” suggested the judge. “ Both lady “Very. Didn't get a bottle.” of gasoline to the gallon he could run his lawyers may smile at the jury. Will that lc Courier-Journal car with the stuff!" —New York Sun be fair to each side?” —Detroit Free Press Courter-Jou . New Mileage Record—" You say he is Jumping Father a good prohibition enforcement officer?” “Tl say he is “What especially are his q “Well, he has gotten as high as 20 gal- lons of moonshine to the mile out of a flivver. Florida Times-Union ifications?”” Kind but Firm—“Can you give me a recipe for rat poison?” as a bever Louisville Permanent Color Improvement “Your face is no longer flushed with drink.” “No,” replied Uncle Bill Bottletop: “When they proclaimed prohibition 1 and never got over it.” Whoopee! — They say the word “hootch” is a Scotch exclamation of ela ff that will tion, and you know the only s clate a Scotchman.— Pittsburg Gazetle- Successful ( r—LOOK WERE, DAD, IF YOU'RE GOING TO IN Times. MORE JAM WITH MY TEA, I'LL HAVE TO CUT DOWN YOUR ALLOWANCE 21 ON MY NOT HAVING ANY ondon Mail.