Judge — June 18, 1921 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MATRIMONY x KX Qo Worse Than Ever—Dun—Why so serious, old man? Bert—I have good reasons. My mother She “the in-law’s coming for a visit of tongues. That's nothing; “fauston Post. mine is a min D. reader.— Might Drop in Occa said Mrs. Glipping, in « ful moods, “if I mourn for me?” “Certainly I would Mr. Glipping, as he page. And would you visit my grave sometimes?” “Of course. Why do you ask such a fool ish question? You know the cemetery is right on the way to my favorite golf links." —Birm. m Age- Herald. ionally—* Hen ¢ of her tear. would you were to dic my dear,” replied scanned the market boo-hoo- Importance of Little Things—She Just think of it! A few words mumbled by the minister and people are married He—Yes, and, by George, a few words mumbled by a sleeping husband and people are divorced.—Boston Transcript. Affection’s Fount—I!i/e (pleadingly) —I'm afraid, Jack, you do not love me any more—anyway, not as well as you used to Husband—Why? “Because you always let me get up to light the fire now “Nonsense, my love! Your getting up to light the fire makes me love you all the more.”’—Watchman-Examiner. of the World Enough, Isn't [t?—Mrs. Hogg—What have you ever done to save others from suffering and misery? Mr. Hogg—I married you, didn’t 1? Helen married a rich old nderstand he had one Deceived—* man, didn’t she? I foot in the grave.” “That's what Helen thought, too; but he still continues to buy his shoes by the Boston Transcript. With the Trimmings—Mrs. Newly- wed (giving first order to butcher over phone)—Please send me a pound of steak. Butcher—And what else, please? And some gravy.” — New York Central Lines Mag. pair.” The Fitness of Things “Wity ARE YOU ALWAYS PLAYING GoLF?” “It KEEPS ME FIT.” “Fit ror WHAT “Ou! more Cour —London 7 Mail. If F Dante had not worshipped Beatrice If Goethe had not pined for Frau Von Stein; If Petrarch had not fancied Laura peachy, Or Keats considered Fanny Brawne divine; Had Tasso never yearned for Leonora Or Spenser idolized his Rosali Had Lovelace not been nuts on Theodora Until he found Lucasta had her skint Had Byron not been ardent for Tere Had Surrey never moped for Gerald Had Swift not been enamored of Vanessa, Had not Elvira vamped poor Lamartine; Had Sidney not found Stella’s eyes insidious, Had Prior never loved the cobbler’s wife Or Horace and Catullus prized their Lydias, Or Sappho for her Phaon wrecked her life- If Homer hadn’t heard of Spartan Nellie, Had Burns and Highland Mary never met; Had Mary Godwin not attracted Shelley, Or Mary Devereaux been bet— Why, save for minor changes in the stanzas Where rhymes were needed for the loved one’s name, Each of these poets’ lyrics and romanzas Would be today substantially the same —Ted Robinson inCleveland Plein Dealer o's best