Judge — June 11, 1921 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How He Gained Appreciation “What did your boy Josh do when you told him he would have to go out in the world and make his own living?” “He went to the next farm as a hired hand, and in a week had me offerin’ him his Lan’ keep an’ more wages.” —Wash Star, boa fngton Impractical Reading—"I'll have to fire that new hired man,” said Mr. Cob bles “What's he been doin’?” Cobbles. “Nothin’. That's just th’ trouble. I 1 him settin’ under a tree re asked Mrs book when he oughter been at work. “Maybe it was a book a farmin’, father. No, it wasn’t. It was a poetry book. There ain’t no poetry in farmin’ an’ there in't no information in poctry that tells how to lift a mortgage.” —Birmi I ge- Herald. ngham On PI Forfeited—* Hiram,” warned Mrs. Corn- tossel. “We can’t put up the rent on our guests this summer without bein’ de- nounced as profiteers. “That's all right. We can get all that’s comin’ to us by puttin’ up the price of the board.”’—Washington Star. Proprieties—* Hir im,” said Mrs. Corn tossel, “I want you ‘9 promise me one thing “What's that “When you go to the big town, pass all spare time in the thea-ayters. I don’t want you in the street starin’ at them fash- -Washington Star, ionable dressed ladies A Costly Business—Seth says he has quit the law. He and Lige Smith went to law for a shoat. He won the pig which soon died of cholera, and he and Lige each had to sell a horse to pay their lawyers. De Witt New Era, Subtle Enjoyment—" Did you sell any pigs?” inquired Mrs. Corntossel “No,” replied her husband. “I couldn’t part with them. I get more pleasure than money could buy drivin’ ‘em round to make the city people envious.""—Washing on Star, asure (Badly) Bent Wuicn one Tue Picnic Parers. Invern? “Way, “A PICNIC 18. A FINE THING! DiCKENS HAS WRITTEN A WHOLE NOVEL ABOUT IT!” Meggendorfer Blactier (Munich). The Horn of Plenty He—| rounr A WAIR-PIN IN MY sour! She—Cart, DEAR, LOOK AND SEE IF CAN'T FIND MY BUTTON-HOOK aLso.—Ka Stockholm TOUGH IDES WT = oath 4 AS : Ady Roping Hankinson— Mark Twain once sat in the smoking-room of a steamer and listened for an hour to some remarkable stories. Then he drawled: “Boys, these f yours that you've been telling about nibal teats recall an adventure of my own in Ha There was a fire in Hannibal one night, and Old Man Hankinson got caught in the fourth story of the burning house. It looked as if he was a goner. None of the ladders was long enough to reach him. The crowd stared at one another with awed eyes. Nobody could think of anything to do. Then all of a sudden, boys, an idea occurred to me. ‘Fetch a rope!’ I yelled Somebody fetched a rope and with great presence of mind I flung the end ' ol it to the old man. ‘Tie her round your waist!’ L yelled. Old Man Hankinson did so, and I pulled him down.”—Ladies’ Home Jour- nal, A Pioneer in Thrift—"A rather seedy looking old fellow, “That’s Zeke Toppi said "Squire Witherbee. ver hear of Zeke?” “I never did.” “He's the village miser. Zeke went on a buyers’ strike forty years before the World war and he’s still out.”—Birming ham Age- Herald. All's Fair in Love and War—* Boy, take these flowers up to Miss Dolly Footlites, Room 12.” ~ ! You're the fourth guy wot’s sent her flowers today “Eh! What's that? Who sent the others: “Oh, they didn’t send up any names. They just said: ‘She'll know who they came from. “Well, here, take my card and tell her these are from the same one that sent her the other three boxes.””—Boston Transcript. comicbooks.com