Judge — June 11, 1921 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of the World’s Humor Accommodated—Tramp—Can you as sist me along the road, mum? Lady—Versonally L cannot, but 1 can 1 1 know he will be Orleans Item hain my do; His Easier Method—He tapped on the back door and asked for something to eat The good housewife replied that she would earn the meal feed him if he was willing by cleaning out the gutter, The tramp agreed and when he had eaten his way through several sandwiches she came out with a reliable looking hoe “You needn't have gone to that trouble * said the weary one, sizing up the “T never use a hoe in madam,” farm implement cleaning out a gutter.” “Never use a hoe “What do you use, then—a shovel?” No, madam,” replied the tramp starting for the gate, “my method is to pray for rain.”— Pit * said the woman burg Times-Gacelle. Mistaken Identity—* Mister,” whined the beggar, “will you give a poor man something for a drink?” You bet I will,” said the pedestrian, brightening. “How much you got with you?"—Minneapolis Journal. Anxious to Please—" Did you say you a distressed Arabian or an indigent were Turk? “Whichever you prefer, mum,” re sponded the wayfarer.—Louisville Cou- rier-Journal. Simple Deduction ‘ow, tell me the truth,” said the fussy old lady to the corner mendicant, “are you really blind?” “Yes, ma'am,” said the beggar. ‘What is this I am about to give you?” \ nickel, ma’am.”” la! If you are blind, how do you know it’s a nickel?” “ Because, ma’am, I never get more than 1 nickel eut of people like you.” —Birming ham Age- Herald. He Knew—“Now, I have given you a good meal, perhaps you can tell me how Be Nice, DocTOR DEAR, AND TELL MY NUS: BAND | HAVE LIVER TROUBLE Bor way? “You sex, | tust roLtow THE FASHION, AND THE LATEST STYLE INSISTS UPON OCHRE FACE rowper.” — Le Paris) urnal dn I can get some of that wood cut up over there?” said the woman at the back door, wiping her forchead with her gingham apron Isurekin, ma’am,"'replied the itinerant, his hat in his hand; “I read in de paper dat an clectric-driven machine to split wood ison de market."”— Yonkers Statesman. Not Well Posted “Ie Laan oxty KNown THAT I soup DESCEND TO BILL-rosTING, | WouLD HAVE LEARNED TO READ. | MAY BE POSTING LOTS OF BILLS AGAINST MY OWN coNvicTIONS.”—Meg- sendorfer Blactter (Munich). CH ECR) The eat Refusal—An old darky vis ited a doctor and received instructions as to what he should do. Shaking his head he was about to leave the office, when the doctor called out: “Hey, there, uncle, you forgot to pay me.” y you fo’ what, boss?” “ For my advice.” “Nossuh, boss,” said Rastus, shuffling out. “I’se compluntated it from all angles and decided not to take it.”—American Legion Weekly Teetering on the Brink— After a ser- mon by an old colored preacher one of the brethren said to him. “Br'er Jenkins, how fur off, you reckon, hell is?” “How old is you, Br’er Thomas?” asked the preacher. “Well, suh, ef I don’t iss my kalkerla tions | is sixty-fo’.” “Well.” said the preacher, wuz born inter dis worl’, hell wuz jes’ sixty- fo’ years off, an’ all 1 got ter say is, ef you ain't in sight er it now, it ain't yo" fault!” (lanta Constitution we'en you Eloquence Plus—"I don’t believe negro race is naturally eloquent,” marked the Northern \ isitor. “Sir, “replied the old-fashioned Southern the gentleman, “you have probably never heard a colored bootblack addressing a few appropriate remarks to a pair of dice Birmingham Age-Herald Aunt Susan's Dilemmy Aunt Susan. ‘an old Maryland darky, was being regis tered for the first time. Like many other women who were torn between their desire to vote and retain their youth, Aunt Susan neither relished telling her age nor dis cussing other private matters. “What are your affiliations? ’ asked the registrar, “Why, boss, I « 12? queried Aunt Sus: “ Answer the question hard-hearted registrar. But, boss,” protested Aunt Susan, “I don’ like to. He's got a wife and five chil- dren Philadelphia Public Ledger. “has? to tell dem, do iy dismay commanded the comicbooks.com frre