Judge — May 28, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by P. Bro THERE S NOBODY 1 Reruey Nercous Elderly Damsel—Weir, THE wep! Pine Rercecrion ANYHOW, UNDER cutting his teeth “A Child in the House, ” and was an exquisitely beautiful story. The editor sent me a check and a dictated letter saying he hoped to see some more of my work soon. He saw more sud- denly rather than soon for I sent him another story the next week. To my great astonishment it came back, and even though I sent it to seve tecn other unsuspecting editors, as is the custom of many brilliant writers, [ still have the story For five years every mail brought a rejection slip. We have three mails a week in our town, there teing eight hundred people of thereabouts here. Of course, on Christmas and Thanksgiving, when all the former residents come back for din- ner, it runs a trifle over eight hundred, but usually It was called it is about that One day I read a sad article about books. Half the books printed, it seemed, were a dead loss, one- fourth of the rest did not altogether pay for the cost of publishing them, and the remaining one- fourth showed some profit but not much. I then and there began a book, “* My Neat-Door Neigh- bor,” which was accepted, and I became famous over night 1am now seventy-nine years old. My husband is two years younger, but you would never think so to see us, for I am so much better preserved than he is. Last year L wrote one book, two novelettes, seventeen short stories, fifty-six humorous sketches and numerous jokes and epigrams. I stand firmly for Woman Suffrage and Prohibition. and indced all modern ideas. I have not come to a decision on the League of Nations and the Blue Sunday Law, but Lam posted up to the minute on all the points the statesmen, lawmakers and humorists have explained so far. We own our own home, a flivver and a phono- graph. Also a vacuum-cleaner, except for the last two payments. These have all been paid for for our old age when neither of us is able to work, and I kave a nice nest-egg already. We would be so pleased to have you all drop in to see us any time you are down ourway. Come ona Sunday if you can, for we always have chicken on Sunday, 2nd the children and grandchildrea A Double Death (A devi eadening the sound of pianos has been invented.—News Note.) Ry La HaNxcocn uy you can sce all for Fovcur HIS is a good ntion, sure, And no one can deny it, So we would urge cach amateur Immediately to try it We'd also urge, as soundest sense, To him who works such cures, That, if he deadens instruments, He might kill amateurs! I kxow Rules for Pronunciation Eaglebird—Why do you Englishmen always pronounce the word “lieutenant” “leftenant?”” Can't say for certain. To make it rhyme with St. George “colonel.” I fancy with my husband's carnings. He insists that I put aside all the money L make from my writing The Pup 2 Drawn by PWD. de T ALWAYS HEARD THAT MOONSHINE WAS DANGEROUS STUFF comicbooks.com