Judge — April 23, 1921 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Educating the Boss VEN the book-worm turns. One of Us has E read the riot act to his Boss. By Us I mean book-reviewers, who are, as you know, nest to Blue-Nose Bizzy Izzies, the lowest form of animal intelligence known to scientists. It is no less a per son than Mr. Robert Benchley, who paws over books for The World. He wants to know why his Itoss wished “Books and Things a heading to his palaver. He calls on the readers of his wheeze to bombard his Boss with letters. The Wise Men of the Past have given way to the wise men of the yeast. In a word, home-brew is killing the reading habit. Mr. Benchley ered this; hence he calls on his Boss to cam! him to save his job. You must put salt on t of the reading-bird these days to lure him into the You will notice, dear reader, that Tam the ¢ reviewer who cares very little about books. Uni 1 book suggests something that is not has little value. “Of course, you are ri aid Don Marquis, to whom I first enunciated this triking theory. I suggest “ Ding-Dongs and Dew erries" for Mr. Benchley’s column. Now, take “Mac of Placid,” by T. Morris Long streth (The Century Company), for instance. One of the heroes in the book is that grand old bohemian. nert Louis Stevenson. R.L.S., in the Adirondacks for a while book told me about him caused me to begin reading “Treasure Island” over again—for the fifth time \s for Mac of Placid, he'll do ¢ other time You see what I mean? Three Wise Men cof the Yeast Ry Bexjasixy De Casseres Doe ltT ILE road to hapy Always put off until tomorrow what you ought 1 lies in procrastination Hope deferred k thousand epigram: I have always admired the lazy to do t could wri postponement man and the procrastinator. You know those terrible people who yelp in your ear, “Do it now! They always have a worried pinched, conscientious look. Did you ever know a Johnny-on-the-Job who looked happy? Why ling stone want to gather mo A roll © sees things. It might get in the shoe of a ie, and think of the fun it has there! Who wants moss on him, anyway? Up and at 'em! Be a rolling stone, a procrasti tor, and learn the gentle art of bummery. Fool the time-clock mummy sitting at the door. Shirk what ever is unpleasant. Walk the streets of By-and-By which leads to the House of Never—you'll find a great and roisterous crew there. Their cheeks are fat and their voices are laughs, and they all carry deep ale tankards. What do you think inspired the above immoral lines? a book called “The Life of Alphonso Taft by Lewis Mexander Leonard (Hawke Publishin Company). Now, Al was always doing things, his face in the front JUDGE most unromantic and most completely humorless face I have ever seen. I prefer his relative, Big Bill Taft, the golf player and playboy of politics. Big Bill never cared over- much. Bully Bill! Meenie-Miney-Mo along time between real poets. While waiting a gang of rhymsters and yodling yawpers land the courtyard and set up their sirens, calliopes and tom-toms. A raft of Harry Kemps, Carl Sandbungs, Ezra Pounds, William Cary Sangers. Ah! the serious troubadours of the tom-tom!—t Willies with all their rhymes parted carefully in the middle, their patent leather words and boiled. shirt themes. At least William Cary Sanger, Jr., is modest. He alls his book just “Verse” (G. P. Putnam's Sons). ‘oems" is a magnificent word, and is generally nately by those whose work can not be printed or sold All of Mr. Sanger’s ver brated, that world -famou: is modelled on that cele uatrain of my youth Eeenie-meenie-miney-mo, Catch a nigger by the toe— If he hollers, let ‘im go Eeenie-mecnie-miney-mo. Most of our American ve s have got this jin by heart. And all their books are variations on its great theme. Well, this must be Old Grouch Week with me, all right! LW Wracn oy P.D. Jonsson ‘Tite AUTOCRATIC SALESGIRL FROM THE DEPARTMENT sTORE 30 visits Tue Cuarity Bazan AND TRIES TO GET WAITED OX, comicbooks.com