Judge — April 16, 1921 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Sole Survivor smoke! Here's rat * Hory (London) LETTER ee STS 7 ED Doesn't Fill the Bill—Mrs. Isn’t that a new maid you have Mrs. Styles—Ves “Ts she competent?” “LT should say not. Had her out in the Myles— ae a car, to say nothing of blowing up a tire —Yonkers Statesman. oar Unfair Advantage—* That's an alert office boy you have.” “This is his first day on the job,” said Mr. Dubwaite. “Tomorrow I'll put him to the acid test “How?” “T'll leave a ‘dime novel’ lying around where he can find it.”"—Birmingham Age Herald. Almost as Satisfactory—Subbubs (on returning home from business)—You look so cheerful, Helen, I take it that you have found a new cook Mrs. Subbubs—No such luck, but I just heard that our neighbor, Mrs. Brown, has lost hers.—Boston Transcript j Subtle Stuff—A clerk in a mercan tile house had completed a quarter of a century's service with the firm. the senior partner, handed MARIA GAVE ate car yesterday, but she can’t crank up the to main!" —The Pa: him in the morning a large sealed en. velope inscribed: “In memory of this eventful day.” The clerk gratefully accepted the envelope without opening it, but on a gracious hint from the chief he broke the Inside he found a photograph of his employer. “Well, what do you think of it?” in quired Schmidt, with a grin. “It’s just like you,” was the ambiguous reply.— Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegra ph reless Cuss! ener (:0 chauffeur)—Look ovT ror YOUR TIRE, THERE! Cax"T you sre, STE HAS ONY O° THEM HAT-PINS WITHOUT A POINT- rrotector?—Le Journal dmusant (Paris). 18 Rather Skeptical ethnographic boundary?” “It’s an imaginary line, my son, that exists largely in the minds of idealistic statesmen, but will never figure to any great extent in either history or geog- raphy.”"—Birmingham —.Age- Herald Poor Father's Monocle —\ boy iresh from school went down to breakfast and began at once to tell his mother about the term and what he had done “We've just started molecules.” he said.“ Awfully interesting. Jolly hard, though!”” “ Ah, yes,” said his mother, “very diffi cult. Your poor dear father never could keep his in his eye.” ckup Harmonious Consistency—" What is the meaning of * consistency “Consistency has to do with the fitness of things.” I don’t know just what you mean. “TL will give you an example.” “Ves, sir is “A freckle-faced girl in a polka dot dress, leading a coach dog.”—Youngs town Telegram. my son Helping Him Out on me.” “Why should I be lenient?” “ Because a concatenation of unforseen circumstances precipitated me into this deplorable predicament.” “Well, I'll do the best I can for you You seem to have a liking for long words, so I will send you to a prison where there is a good library and you can learn a few more.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Increasing His Vocabulary—Father recently came into possession of a new automobile and garage talk flew thick and fast between husband and wife with the result that son, called Wesley at the north side school, where he is learning that words are composed of syllables sometimes became mixed in his school and garage talk. After showing his mother the knowl- edge that had been forced on him that day in the way of new words, Wesley came to one with three syllables that was not entirely familiar and called to his mother for help with: “Mother, how many cylinders in this word?”—Indianapolis News. comicbooks.com