Judge — April 2, 1921 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cabby (to motorist wh acatnst ong !—London M. Pie—The Chicago council, rising to the occasion, proposes to fix the size and price of a piece of pie.—Pittsburg Guzette Tim The Quacker—They dined out the other evening with some friends, where roast duck was the principal dish. Hus- band seemed to enjoy it so much that the little bride decided to surprise him with a similar treat at their next day’s dinner although she had never cooked one in her life. The next morning when the duck ar- rived she proceeded to finish the cleaning, when suddenly she stopped and going to the telephone, she called up the butcher and told him she wanted some one to come after that duck right away, as she would not keep it. “Why?” Because it is deformed,” she replied, “and I could not eat a single mouthful.” “But,” said the perplexed man, “I personally cleaned that duck and I thought at the time I had never seen a finer one, Just where is it deformed?” “Why,” she said, “on its windpipe is a hard growth that looks just like a shell.” As soon as the choking butcher could control his voice he called back: “ Heav- Unsportsmanlike ens, woman, that is the thing it quacks with.” Mother BREAD? Willie SOME CANDY Indianapolis News. He Has a Future—When James Henry went to grandmother's he ex- pected to get candy, or money to spend for it at the grocery. On one occasion, following the usual demand for candy, grandmother fore- stalled any further requests by remark- ing that there was not a cent in the house. The youngster was taken aback for a moment before he gravely inquired, “Well, grandmother, couldn’t you write a check?”—Indianapolis News. If She Was Good—“How old are you, Marjorie?” “I'm five, and mother says if I'm good an’ eat lots of oatmeal, I'll be six next birthday.” —Boston Transcript. A Circus—‘Pop, what is a tentative performance?” “It’s one of them open-air shows, sonny.”—Baltimore American. Supernatural Intelligence Witte, HAVE You saip your PraveERS? Dip you ask THe Lop rox YOUR DAILY No, Ma—te ~Le R T ASKED 1UM TO CUT DOWN THE PRICE OF SUGAR, SO I COULD HAVE comicbooks.com