Judge — March 26, 1921 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

March 26, 1921 Ode to Congress By Maser Havenron Cortyrr WE pray thee, gentle Congressmen, And pray thee with a will Reduce the tax that bends our backs, And we shall love thee still Oh, tax us under if you must But do not tax us up. ‘The surtax is no thing of bliss On which we like to sup. So check the little taxing tax That like a taxi seems \ thing of guile that robs us while It soothes our waking dreams, We like a rich and lordly land That bi its means But is it queer we like to hear Some silver in our je abou And if our backs should really break Beneath the load, who then Would pay the tax that clothes the backs Of all you taxing men? Oh, taxi But indoor sports g Such sport would soon be out of sort If all of us should fail g is great indoor sport w stale Manicurist By Curt Siarer The HE manicurist is a hot-house product with a working knowledge of cosmetics that is pparent in every line of her face. She pos- sesses a beauty that is not quite so rare as it is well-applied. She prosecutes her trade before 1 table that is as clean as a soldier before pay day and it can be smoothly said of her, as a representative of a brisk profession, that she sa wicked chamois. Her prey consists irgely of men who have no home ties or other men who have severed their home ties in order to meet the situation. What she knows about the itinerant public would make a story that only Fannie Hurst would dare write. Manicurists are divided into two sects who clip the cuticle and those who do not Either sect abhors the other. However, this is the only outstanding difference. All of them respective of party affiliations and disparities use their little mystic jars of without caution. race than a those in hair dyes. hk y-scented They handle the hands with more explosive | lairvoyant. They file with the cunning of a machinist and use an orange stick much after | the fashion of a suburbanite hunting a mole in | his backyard. They lave and brush and wipe | tenderly, and the sni-snip of their scissors | vunctuates their remarks on current commod- | ty prices. “Most of them average 800 appoint nents every calendar month and are thus as ured one movie a night. It requires about a | half-hour for a manicurist to negotiate a ten ail course which she does in par, plus a brok- rage fee of fifty per cent. When she is nearly nished she decorates her customer's digits ke the French, with palms. ‘Then she backs up or the final touch which is made with great Miter which she sorts out what she leftness. gets, gives the proprictor of the shop his share, files her portion away and proceeds to burnish up the next one in line, Not long ago a nimble manicurist pursued the daily tussle before her alabaster set-up in the far end of a rough-dry lather palace on the lower east side of a mid-western town. She worked conscientiously and was very attentive. One day she was con- fronted by a large hick from the unhewed sticks of the Northwest who trespassed on her property with a hand like the foot of an asphalt-layer. She glommed it gingerly at first, then tenderly, and fashioned it from its uncouth state into a paw that had v some semblance of respectability. She had labored for an hour or more with her hacksaw and other tools while her customer sat by, in gifted nonchalance Then, without so much as raising her eyebrow, she asked, quietly: “Light or dark polish?” The hick was not at all nonplussed. Demonstrating his perfect familiarity Draven by ( with such a situation and maintaining his blasé poise, he replied “Neither. Make them straight up. et And be sure to have the bacon crisp.” Mamma's Boy “Young McCardell is the most egotistical young blade I’ve ever me “ How so, my dear.” | | “On his birthday yesterday, he sent a collect message, congratulating his mother.” Obliging 7—I want to see your nails n hardware store)—Yessum | dy Custon New Cle Finger or toe? 27 EGYPTIAN 3. Tovvon As Iv Is 1x THe Supurss “DELIA, COULD YOU COME AND WASH FOR MEA WEEK rrom Turspay “AW AIN’ SATIN sure, Mis’ Witttasts. CONSULT MAH SEC’TARY AN’ see ty AN HAS DAT DATE orex.” DEITIES “The Utmost in Cigarettes” Plain End or Cork Jip The Cynic’s Conclusion People ofculture and refinement invariably PREFER ‘Deities to any other cigarette AW wave It is surprisingly casy to kiss a girl who won't let you. America’s Pioneer BOOK ON DOG DISEASES And Ho) comicbooks.com 5 Se America's Pioneer