Judge — March 26, 1921 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a musician, do you? Then I advise you take up either the bagpipes or the olin “Why so, father?” “Because when there’s any paying to be done, I notice it’s the piper and the fiddler who are the preferred creditors.” —Boston Transcript. A Considerate Woman— Hostess Now, professor, I want you to have humerous pianissimo passages in you selections for the musicale. Professor Pounder—You are the sentimental, then? Hostess—Not especially, but) my guests will want to hear themselves talk once in a while.—Boston Transcript. fond of A Tidy Sum Saved—"How was Mrs. Grabcoin’s reception?” “The prima donna engaged for the occasion had an attack of the ‘artistic temperament’ and refused to sing.” “That explains a remark Mr. Grab coin made. “What was it?” “He said he had never in his life got- ten more satisfaction out of tearing up a check.”"—Birmingham Age- Herald. Now They Don't Speak—Mrs comer—My little girl learned to play the piano in no time. Mrs, Nexdore—Ves, | heard her play- ing in that way this morning.—Boston Transcript. Unreasonable Suggestion “Way ON EARTH DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR CUFFS WASHED?” “Wnat? AND MAKE OUT A NEW TELE- PHONE List EVERY WEEK?" — Flicgende Blatter (Munich). Preferred Creditors—‘ Want to be “Dear Lisa, NOW THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WITH US FOR THIRTY YEARS, WE RECKON YOU AS DISCONTINUE PAYING YOU AMILY. So We SHALL Designation—* Would you regard a man who raises his own grain and makes his own liquor a legitimate agricultur- ist? ‘No,” replied Farmer Corntossel. “He’s what I'd call a jagriculturist.” —Washington Star. In Our Flat—‘Isn’t it dreadful the vay the man on the floor above spends all his time manufacturing home brew?” “Why should we object? It takes the bugs away from our apartment.”— Louisville Courier-Journal. Explained—“Why does your hus- band stay in the kitchen so much? I never knew before he was of such a domestic turn of mind.” “He isn't. He is trying about fifty For the Sake of Auld Lang Syne your waces.”— Korsaren different recipes for making home brew.”—Florida Times- Union. Father's Perfume—*Pussyfoot” Johnson whose effort to prohibitionize Scotland failed recently, was discussing his failure with a New York editor. “Yes, I fail he ended, “and I'm very sorry. Conditions in Scotland are very bad. “Did you ever hear the story of the deacon’s daughter? This illus- trates Scottish conditions very well. “The wife of a Peebles deacon took a bath one evening, and as it was, rainy, chill November weather, she swallowed a teaspoonful or two of whisky after her bath to keep herself from catching cold “Then in her dressing-gown she went to bid her little daughter good-night. H She stooped over the child’s cot and kiss was exchanged. After the kiss the little girl drew back sharply, sniffed and said: “Why, mamma, you've been using father’s perfume, haven't you?’ "— Detroit Free Press. story comicbooks.com