Judge — March 26, 1921 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EASTER LILIES ON YOUR EASTER HAT Drawn oy A.B. Watwen “*Simps’’ By Lewis W. SIMP is a gink who doesn’t know that A Simp is a tion, “simpleton.” Lippy Most men who purchase oil stocks, memory courses, and second mortgages are simps. ontraction of Noah Webster’s famous cri Yesterpay axp Topay trusting and less intuitive than wome! are usually ladies’ simps. Jenced by the barrage of tears and flowers with lady simp is ¢ he is a simp! which she will flood a criminal’s cell. intimacy with a new la ro DAY SPECIAL EASTER LILY CLOCKS [EASTER STO Also, because “gents” The most glaring symptom of the Or by the fervor of her ly friend—and her vitriolic sermon over the remains of the luckless acquaintanceship, when she Also, the bald-headed party who pays real money for hair and her newest friend havi fallen out. Too Easy grower is a prize simp. Likewise the gent who finances a ‘leg show. The simp’s chief characteristics are an abnormal faith in “How much did you get out of your lawsuit?” “Well, the verdict was a thousand, but the three of us divided it 50-50.” some ma mining stocks; a wild hunch that he may find a fine wife and a meal-ticket through a matrimonial agency; and the dull, monotonous, undiscourageable confidence in clairvoyants. The simp also exhibits child-like be- lief in the memorized “spiel” of a hy to-house canvasser, and fastens like terrified oyster to the sleck philosophy of the latest cult—until another cult breezes in. The simp indeed has a vaudeville mind A great many otherwise sane people will finally fall for some smug graft. Or it may be a dashing grass widow, or other octopus, who graduates them a-clattering through the Simp University. . simpsare of all ages, conditions, and shades. Why, there is no telling when even a correspondence school’s pro- prictor will begin to believe his own liter- ature! Or a tailored-by-mail baron fall for some other slick gazabo’s salvy game. There are more men simps than lady simps! Possibly because men are more use- l-order advertisements; a rabid desire to buy unknown The Leg of Nations. Great Britain Ry Joux Herp, Jx., ano Georce Mircnett. Since prim AND ProveR Britain stcxep (Witn Hexry, Eowarp, Grorce 1x Mix) SMALL WONDER THAT HER SUBJECTS SING WE WARNING HyMN: “Gop SAVE THE Kine.” un hree of you and $0-50? Impossible! How could that be?” “Why counsel. you two of us were my Proper Thing Mrs, Willis—Have you heard the little Bump girl sing? Mr, Willis—Yes. Mrs. Willis—Don’t you ought to be sent abroad? Mr, Willis—Sure; deport her, by all means. think she Verbal Flip-Flops Said the chopstick to the lipstick, “You are certainly a flip stick.” “But at least I’m not a flop stick.” Said the lipstick to the chopstick. Back to Nature “The advertisement of this hunting lodge sounds attractive.” “Read it.” “Mountain scenery, pine woods, na- ture at the wildest. Direct wire to the New York Stock Exchange.” comicbooks.com