Judge — February 26, 1921 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Too Much—"Why did you remove your family portraits?” “My wife was too fond of using them as illustrations when giving her famous lecture on my ignominous descent.” L Courier-Journal. Oh, That's Different!—AMrs. Dibbs Every time I raise my hand my husband gives me an awful beating. Mrs, Dabbs—Heavens! you call the police? Mrs, Dibbs—What do they know about Express Why don't bridge? Wise Papa—Pearl—Oh, we had a delightful wedding and received so many silver presents Ruby—That was fine. And did your father give something in silver, too? Pearl—No, he gave us a bottle of acid to test the other presents. —Boston Soft Soap—S/ I don’t see why it is you find poker so fasci- (pettishly nating, nd—It's the queens in the deck They remind me so much of Boston Transcript —Harre-umen! You art a Vaca A LOAFER! Tramp—How DAKE YOU SAY THAT “Wott, WHAT iy YOUR PROFESSION?” “Your Hoxox, 1am a. resprcranur Not a Word—First Maid—Your ti- ancé stutters quite a bit, doesn’t he? Second Maid—Ves; but it doesn’t mat- ter. After we are married he won't have a thing to say, anyway.—Detroit: News Sconomy—The Married Man (to friend)—I tell you this in all frankness. My wife and I nave calculated we can save at least one hundred dollars a month by not insisting that our friends stay to dinner.— Paris L Falling from Grace Tr WERALN Wet, 11's joLty To THINK THAT SOME 1 Business Man—1 attrib- ute my success to the fact that I was always first at the office. For seventeen years I caught the six-fifteen into town. Interviewer—Ah, | sec. It’s all due to your carly training.—Boston Transcript. Famous Last Words—"'I wonder if it’s loaded. V'll look down the barrel and see. “Oh, listen! Step on the accelerator ross before it comes. They, say these things can’t possibly explode, no matter how much you throw them around.” “LT wonder whether this rope will hold my weight.” “It’s no fun swimming round in here That's the train whistle. 1 we'll try to I'm going out beyond the life-lines.”” “Which one of these is the third rail, anyway?” “There's only one way to manage a mule. Walk right up behind him and chastise him.” That firecracker must have gone out. I'll light it again.” “Watch me skate out past the ‘dan- ger’ sign. I bet I can touch it.’ Southern Underwriter. His Idea—“I don’t sce as so much saving is required for a rainy day.” “Huh?” “All you need is an umbrella, rubbers and perhaps skid chains.""—Louisville Courier-Journal The Shimmy in Kansas—We are not up on modern dances. The only time we shimmy is when we crawl out in the mornings to start the fires.—Barber County (Kan.) Index. Sul Wearing ‘Em—AMrs, Goodsole— I am soliciting for the poor. What do you do with your castofi clothing? Mr. Longsufferer—1 hang them up carefully and put on my pajamas. Then I resume them in the morning.—Boston Globe. Thought She Had, Perhaps—Flat- bush—What’s that hen of yours making all that noise about? Bensonhurst—What noise? “Why, that awful cackling id an egg, has she?” “No, not lately; but she’s probably absent-minded.""— Yonkers Statesman, She comicbooks.com