Judge — February 19, 1921 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Draven by Wewsas Pause Digest of the World’s Humor Why Not? WHE Very True—Mrs. Mack—What is your child crying about? Mrs. Sennett—She doesn’t want to take her bath. “The idea! How does she ever expect to become a bathing beauty if she doesn’t start something? "— Vonkers Statesman Doing His Best—*Do you keep all the popular magazines?” 0, sir. Nobody could keep ‘em all however, about three thousand —Louisville Courier-Journal It's Different—If a man could make love to the girl he loves with the ease and fluency with which he makes love to the girl he doesn’t love, all wooings would be successful. — Nashville Tennesseean Couldn't Laugh and Grow Fa “LT understand Mrs. Pruner lost several boarders the other day.” “Ves.” “What was the trouble?” “Well, they said the table repartee was. good, as a whole, and the star boarder was a humorous cuss, but they preferred more food and less vaudeville.”"—Bir- mingham Age- Herald. Suggestions for Burbank—The shad lays 300,000 eggs a year. Why not cross the shad with a chicken and get better results when eggs are hovering around the dollar mark?—Los Angeles Times. Of Course—“I’m surprised to hear that millionaire has a telephone in his bath-room.” “Well, doesn’t the ‘phone always ring when you're in the tub?”—Louisville Courier-Journal. “Toreet it. TL wonper tn ir ts Seas sickNess? | HAVE MAD A roorBATIL AND EATEN A weRRING.”—Fliegende Bl (Munich) Housing Problems in the Ozarks Jess Daniels contemplates moving to Newton County this week. Ed Patterson will move to the place Jess Daniels vacates. Jess Horton will move to the place Ed Patterson vacates. Albert Hollan will move to the place Jess Horton vacates.—Clarksville Herald- Democrat. The Tired Business Man—‘ Just who are the tired business men for whose benefit this entertainment was de. signed?”” “You'll find them out on the side- walk,” answered the manager. “They're the ticket speculators.” —Washington Star. Spellbound—" Why don’t you go on writing my speech?” said the orator. “Tam spellbound,” replied his typist. “Has my cloquence such an effect?” “Yes, sir. [never worked for a man who used so many words I can’t spell.” — Boston Transcript. Just Exercising—* What is Mr. Dor- fling’s favorite form of exercise “Running for office,” said Mr. Dub- waite. “But he never gets elected.” “No, and you frequently see young men sprinting up and down the streets. in gymnasium suits who are not going anywhere in particular.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. Between Girls—"Gladys, you must have voted for some man.” Therese, I did not.” Then how did all these men get elected?” ville Courier-Journal A Proud Memory—“ After a man has been in Congress many years it must be rather hard on him when he is defeated and retired to private life.” “Perhaps so, but as long as he lives he'll talk and act like a statesman, and at every public gathering he will remind his fellow citizens that there was a time when he sat in the seats of the mighty." — Birmingham Age-Herald. Self-Consciousness—* What is your idea of a true statesman?” asked the scribe. “Young man,” rejoined Senator Sor- ghum, “I am willing to give you an in- terview, but I haven't time for a full biography.” —Washington Star.