Judge — January 15, 1921 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by Howtas Pats Digest of Darwin Reversed “Did you give the pe to the monkey, dear?’ Yes, mamma. And what did the monkey do with “He the organ.” —Boston Transcript eit to his father who played They Sound Alike -Now that woman is nation-wide, schools for girls sufirag y devote a little more litics and current events courses. ‘They didn’t give much time to those subje when Miss Rosilie Allen was in school, apparently, for she looked mystifi when her escort pleaded off an nt for the following evening, expla ing that he was booked to i Elihu Root jlon’t know who he is,” he ex but he’s an important man just plained the same “Yes, Ldo know,” she protested indig nantly. “Who did yo Root -Elihu Root.” Oh, yes,” triumphantly. “Root —[ him; they call him ‘Babe."’ urgh Dispatch say?” Not Aiding Profiteer—The third grade was studying multiplication and some of the children were having trouble with the tables. One boy was hay especially hard time, so his folks were helping him at home. One night they were quest Birch, if you were to ister said ning him, and jown to the store to buy nine apples a © grocer told you they were seven cents apiece, what would you say? Birch answered immediately Vd othin y the Oh, What a Yell Was Mary’s! Trials of a Schoolboy Arithmetic according to the average small boy, was simply invented in order to give teachers a good excuse for punishing their unhappy pupils. And certainly little ‘Tommy Smith found it the unpleasant feature of his young life N Tommy Smith.” said the school- teacher one morning during the usual hour of torture, “what is the half of eight? Which way, teacher?” asked the youngster, cautiously “Which way!” replied the astonished lady. “What do you mean? “Well, on top or sideways, teacher?” said Tommy “What difference does that make?” “Why.” Tommy expl pitying air, “half off the top of eight is ined, with a nought, but half of it sideways is three — Houstos W orld’: Embarra noying Ww SO, girlie?” Our car was rather crowded. [had to go into court and testify that 1 was seated on a gentleman's lap.”—Louis- ville Courier-Jour A Vocalist Provoked—"I knew there was goin’ to be trouble as soon as the mule heard the honk of our new flivver,” remarked Farmer Corntossel, ruefully. “How did it affect the mule?” “Threw him into a fit of professional jealousy so violent that he backed up and kicked the rear transmission clear through the radiator.” Washington Star Pride Before a Fall Stormy weather reminds Attorney Peter Breen of vears igo When he was county att he used to travel behind named for his office. Then he got the ght a machine automobile bug and | He was on his way to his ranch when he rs who came up with one of his neight was driving his old-fashioned team “Ah, why don’t vou get up to date?” dd Breen. The rancher never an swered. and the automobile sped on. Half a mile farther on the road some: thing went wrong with the machinery ind the thing slipped into a ditch Mong came the rancher and his team It was snowing now and the prospects of a night out in the ditch looked favorable “Say, pull me out and haul me to my place.” said Breen Fifty dollars,” said the rancher: Pete nearly collapsed. It tx ing harder + paid the fifty Vestcondr / comicbooks.com