Judge — January 8, 1921 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Feminine Intuition Gwessy ann IT Were GREAT PALS, BUT WE DON'T SPEAK Now.” “How PeRPECTLY THRIL nis Name? —Sydney (Austra ORDS The Likeness—".\ beauty doctor taking the skin off the society queer complexions is very much like a sexton at the church chimes.” “Lcan’t see the likeness. | must say.” “Isn't he pecling the belles?" —Balti more American. French Courtesy—In one of the smaller cities in central France used by a division headquarters during the winter of 1918-1010 Alphonse, the barber, en deavored to learn to speak English. To this end he was diligently coached by numerous Yank dispatch-bearers, ser- geant-majors and clerical workers, and Alphonse learned fast No less a personage than the command ing general of the division strode into the barber shop one day and demanded a shave in a hurry. Alphonse, who was tending a lowly enlisted customer, knew rank when he saw it and rose to the airtainlee, mon général.” he replied bowing with the French politeness “Seet down, mon général, an’ you be nex’, you beeg steef.”” The general waited. American Legion Weekly. Vocabulary “They say that three hundred words suffice for a vocabulary.” “You don’t really need that many A man can do his courting in gurgles.” “And after marriage?” “He converses in grunts.” —Louistille Courier-Journal. Our Language—ere are a few of the difliculties of the English language: \ tlock of ships is called a fleet \ fleet of sheep is called a flock. \ flock of girls is called a bevy. A bevy of wolves is called a pack \ pack of thieves is called a gang of angels is called a host porpoise is called a shoal \ shoal of buffaloes is called a herd. \ herd of children is called a troop. + \ troop of partridges is called a \ covey of beauties is called a galaxy \ galaxy of ruffians is called a horde \ horde of rubbish 1s called a heap. \ heap of oxen is called a drove \ drove of blackguards is called a mob \ mob of wh: alled a school \ school of v Iled a con gregation Pittsburgh Chronicle - Tele graph wey hipers i New York Speech—" That goil 1 innerdooced ye to is a Southerner.” “Yes, L wuz wise that foist thing fr'm the fierce way she has o' p'nouncin’ her woids.”"—Bruwning’s Not a Hoot—“No, your Honor, he didn’t give a hoot whether I saw him coming or not.” “How do you know he didn’t give a hoot?” “Well, he didn’t: blow his horn.” Louisville Courier-Journ Just His Luck—Mr, Isaaestein ap proached a taxi driver and asked what would be the fare for himself, his wife and children to a certain address. . Mr. Isaac- stein offered to toss the cabby double or quits. The cabby asked The cabby consented and won the toss, d-be passenger turned to his wife and said, in despairing tones “Just my luck, Rachel! Now ve shall have to valk home!"”"— Houston Post whereupon the woi New Lids—Redd—Saw you riding in a taxi yesterday Greene—That was me “But what happened? I generally: see you in your car with your wife.” “Both in the shop be hoods and shoes Yonkers: Statesman, fitted for new Old Curiosity Shop Tactless Assistant—SOMRY We CAN DO NO BUSINESS, MADAM; THINGS ARE QUIET, AS YOU SAY. Most PEOPLE APPEAR, LIKE YOURSELF, TO BE DODGING ANTIQUITY.—London Mail. comicbooks.com