Judge — January 8, 1921 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of Its Meaning—“Pop, what do we mean when we speak of an average man?” “ An average man, my son, is one who isn’t as good as his wife thinks he is before urrics him, nor as bad as she thinks he is afterward.”—Town Topics. m Work—* How do the less beau tiful stenographers succeed in getting jobs?” “Well, say T send you a beauty this week.” “Yes?” “She marries her employer in a couple of months. Then she turns the job over to one of her plainer classmates.” — Louisville Courier-Journal. False Report—A cabbage grown on an allotment near the sea at Portsmouth was found to weigh 2334 pounds and m sures 13 feet round the heart The report that an avis or mistook it for the Isle of Wight and attempted to land on it is now denied.—Pussing Show (London). Great Possibilities —“ Aren't. you making a mountain out of a mole hill?” inquired the ready-made philosopher: “LT wish I could manage such a trans ction,” answered the busy citizen. “I'd be the sure-enough real estate wizard.” —Iashington S In Doubt—* Do you think the world is growing better?” “Tdon't know. I didn’t live here when it was supposed to be worse.””—Detroit Free Press Overalls—“ What has become of the overalls ide ‘Sort o’ died out,” replied Farmer Corntossel. “Didn't seem to be any y of makin’ overalls expensive enough to give ’em standin’ as a regular fad.” — Washington Star. w the World’s One—MY BILLS ARE PROTESTED, MY CREDITORS HAVE SUED ME, ALY LANDLORD HAS GIVEN ME NOTICE TO QUIT, AND MY GIRL HAS SENT BACK MY ENGAGEMENT RING. Laat TIRED OF Lire. | WILL GO OUT INTO THE staeets!—Kasper (Stockholm Why She Quit—Mrs. Beesley’s sister Betsy wrote in her last letter that she had about quit looking at the magazine ads because “every one of them hes pic tures perfectly knude except for the nit things.” —Dallas News. A Bum Joke Old Lady—Wuy bo you ask ror MONEY? Nor To waste tn brink, | nope? Tramp—No, sum, I want to Get sy ruoto Takex.—London Mail. 15 Humor Might Be Worse Off—* Thankful? What have I to be thankful for? I can’t pay my bills.”” “Then, man alive, be thankful you are not of your creditors.”—Beston Transcript. An Artist—* Your friend Bilfur seems to have been a failure in life “But he’s a master of one accor ment,” said Mr. Gadspur. “And what is that?” “He has the most perfect approach in negotiating a loan I have ever wit- nessed.""—Birmingham Age- Herald. lish- A Purchasable Commodity—A Bel- gian woman, who lost her husband in a railroad accident, received from the company $2000 by way’ of compensation Shortly afterwards she read of a traveler getting twice as much for the loss of a leg. She went to the company and pro- tested that the difference was unfair. “Madam,” said the official, “the two awards are perfectly fair. Four thousand dollars won't provide the man with a new leg, but for $2000 you can easily get a new husband.”—Boston Transcript Runs Either Way—* Are you a bull orat in Wall Street?” “Neither,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax “When I'm on the trail of a sure profit, I'm a bloodhound; and when I’m scared, I'm a rabbit.” —Washingwon Star. A Moving Appeal—“Has Gupping ever paid you that fifty dollars he bor- rowed?” 0,” said Mr. Gadspur, “he hasn't done so, but I cherish no ill-will toward Gupping on that account. Anybody who can register as much gratitude as Gupping did when I loaned him that fifty dollars is welcome to keep it sic months longer.’"—Birmingham Age- Herald. comicbooks.com