Judge — December 25, 1920 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COLLEG E WITS Drawn by Henwas Pauwrn / Rules for Raw Raw-Raws E sure to wear your Freshman cap and tie at | all times while on the campus. The fact t you can’t afford these is no excuse. Haven't fa a room-mate? 3e sure to carry an ample supply of matches specially if you smoke—as none of your ssmates are likely to have any. }Don't let rawster complications trouble fa. You'll get used to them before you're enior. NAT DIRTY DEALING HAVE WE HERE? WHAT WICKED WORK 18 THIS? NAT MAKES THOSE EYEBALLS pop witH GLEE? WHAT FILLS THIS PACE WITH BLISS? sual Is rr THe secReT strLt Or some wito THING 1s Wurre? low couLp you think or suctt A THING HN) Axo yer—vou Know—you're ricut! Hall by the back doors. There's too many scription solicitors around the front door yway. emember that Philadelphia girls may care the last rose of summer, but they won't be tent with the last rows in the theatres. f you approach an upper-classman on the k, be sure to yield the right of way—espe- ly if he is bigger than you. nd bear in mind always that “Freshmen st be Freshmen.” But don't let this one fry you. Freshmen always are freshmen. can’t help it.—Pennsyloanéa Punch Bowl. Hil ' | 7 | i Irrepressible, Joyous, Judge's College Wits Number JUDGE'S first College Wits number, pub- lished last March, was an amazing success. As it has now become ‘an annual institution with His Honor, the second number, to be published again in March, may be expected even to surpass the first in interest. JUDGE now asks its undergraduate friends to begin sending in poems, little essays. jokes and other suitable matter, including drawings, for the bution accepted must bear the name, class and college of the contributor, and will be paid for. The college making the best showing in the number wins the large silver cup which Cornell won in the first contest, that cup being subject to three winnings by a college before it becomes the permanent property of the college. Two individual silver cups are offered in addi- tion, one to go to the artist whose drawing is con- sidered the best submitted (including a possible cover in colors). Charles Baskerville, Jr., of Cor- hell, won this last March. The other goes to the author of the best bit of text published in the number. Albert R. Stewart, of Dartmouth, won this in the first contest. All contributions must be original and exclusive. The contest is conducted on the principle of track meet. on points. All material submitted must be at the JUDGE office by February 1, except color designs (in all mediums), which must be in hand two weeks earlier. Address COLLEGE WITS CONTEST, and inclose postage for return in case of rejection. Go toit, boys and girls! Dad's Reaction id to her, “ My love for you Is driving me quite mad.” She said to him, “How odd. It has The same effect on dad.” —California Pelican H Any Old Clothes? Co-Edna bought a paper suit— She thought the thing would wear. But all the boys avoided her, Lest she go on a tear. —Washington Sun Dodger. Bugntxe tae Mipsienr Or —Georgia Cracker. 24 Irresponsible Ode to a Writer of a Humorous Column Ready wit and sparkling humor, Jokes from writer to consumer; Printers’ breaks and foolish captions, Deviltry in queer contraptions— Such as names with double meanings, Magazine and paper gleanings, Clipping what some verdant farmer Donning literary armor Wrote about Si Perkins’ Chickens; (Hicks are funny as the dickens!) She— Are vou ronp or autos? He—Am 12 You oveur ro see tie TRUCK I ATE FoR LUNCH Efforts too in verse with freedom (Kill such writers, we don’t need 'em); Quips about Papa and Willie, Jests profound and others silly; ‘Awful puns (I like ‘em, damme Trite remarks quite epigrammy; Little slams at politicians, Hitting Plebs and cke Patricians; Satire on a timely topic, Squibs with humor microscopic, Hail to thee, blithe column writer, Whimsi amusing blighter; Hearty laughter ad absurdum— Things like yours, I’ve never heard ‘em! — Harvard Lampoon JUDGE