Judge — December 18, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

latest: word “What's the Stranded from Cuba?” “So far as I’m concerned,” said Mr Bibbles, “it’s ‘ Please wire fifty.”” “How's that?” “T havea friend who went there to put in two wet —Birmingham Age Herald. weeks.” Home you tell your frien liquor yourself? Y Brew Wisdom—"Why did that you made that u know very well you didn't “T know. But I knew if I told them that they'd limit themselves to one drink not insist. on finishing it all.”— 1 Free Press and Det Poured In—*' The moonshine’s in the river."” began the poet who was reading from his own works. Shouldn't you “in?” asked a captious critic. No,” replicd the bard. scribing the aftermath of a raid on a substicute ‘on’ for ‘I'm de rural distillery.”—Birmingham — Age- Herald. Starting Something — Dry — See that a barrel of malt extract exploded in New York the other day and nearly killed a man Wet (tartly)—Well, what of it? Dry—It began early, didn't it?— Buffalo Express Helps Some—Mrs. Yeast—Do you notice any changes since Prohibition be- came effective Mrs. Crimsonbeak—Oh, yes; my hus- band has discovered that the keyhole of our front door is less clusive.—Vonkers lesman, A Rare Specimen—* What's the ex- citement? “A bottle of beer is on exhibition in this store.” “But isn’t it against the law to have bottle of beer in this state “IL understand the proprietor of the store has taken out an amusement license. —Birmingham Age-Hercld. “There Are Those Who— —I was seated in a subway station. Beside me was a prim little gray-haired woman. A man came reeling down the steps and lurched into a post. He clung to it as if Trippingly On, wart, you KxNow or course! On—witar'’s-nis-n ase | onave 1 ON THE TIP OF sty TONGUE Biggs—You wave? Ha, wal Wet, or MUST WEIGH SOMETHING. Hts NAME ts José a Purwta Nevapa Le Rire (Paris) be CARAVELLO DELLA Se Gratesatos Denapeno! it were the one place of safety in a violent sca. ‘There were indications, too, as of sea little woman eyed him with te. Then, with an air of performing a painful duty—and you know she would always do her duty no matter how pain ful to herself or anybody — else—she turned to me and said “That man is very ill, Don’t you think we should get an ambulance “He's drunk, that’s all,” [asserted She looked me up and down with the contempt of a superior intelligence “Drunk she echoed And then, sighing at the necessity of giving instruc- tion in the obvious, she added “How could he be drunk? prohibition.” — Vew York k Hing the Cost—Max. Pemberton told a good story recently conceming a certain brother of the pen and newly- made war millionaire with more money than breeding My. author friend,” said Pemberton, the guests at a dinner which this millionaire gave. The host was a free spender, but he wanted full credit for every cent expended, and as the dinner progressed, he told his guests what the more expensive dishes cost. He dwelt especially on the expense of some large and beautiful grapes, cach bunch a foot was One long. ‘The guests looked annoyed. ‘They ute the expensive grapes charily. But the novelist, smiling, extended his plate, and said “Would you mind cutting me off about six dollars’ worth more, please?” Busfalo Commercial. hy of Proof Senator Knox was once pelled by financial affairs to visit a boom town in the West. In the evening, as he sat in the the corrugated iron hotel trying to digest a dinner of salt pork and beans, the land- lord thrust a three-cent cigar into his hand ad said: “L sartinly am proud of Boomville! Would you believe it, sir, that two years ago there wasn't no town here at all? “THumph,” said Senator Knox. “And what makes you think there is one here Detroit Free Press. cof now?” mony Outraged Wife—Wretcn! Perin!—Le Rire (Paris) 7 EVEN HERE, AT HOML, ONE 1S NOT SAFE FROM THE YELLOW