Judge — December 11, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Buy Your Xmas Gifts Now No Money Down UST send your name and ‘address for cur 12-page Christmas’ M Jewelry from which to choose your Xmas gifts, Your selection ple request, hy nem. If you don’t thie! the ‘biggest in you have ever seen, it bark at our expense. If you keep it you ean pay at the Fate of only @ few cents @ day, 8% Yearly Dividend You are guaranteed an &% early increase in vaign on all [iamond exchanges. Also 07 | bonus privileges. Write Today for Xmas Catalog Reverse English By Twos, J. Merway YOUTH once came within our range Who thought advice to save unk He sw he would not mind his change But now he has to change his mind After the spendthrift’s reckless race To posting showbills he had_ flit; So he who erstwhile hit the pace, We now observe just pastes the hit On posting letters he would fail, In spite of what his wife would quote So she’s compelled to note the male, To clearly see he mails the note. A Christmas Gift for $1.80 ch’s Mexture ft Tipe it under a mic cleanest and purest toba highest grade tobacco manufacture pipeful and you will te xture is the most satis! ever touched a match to—de ed cigarette. ONLY $1.80 FOR A 12 oz. TIN, POSTPAID, There's no finer Christmas remembrance for a smoking {rend than a can of this wonderful Mixture. We can m it ty any address you request and enclose your card Serf check. money order or postage s only$1 (or a big air-tight tin of Prench's Mixture and a new smok- ing delight willbe yours, Ask for our booklet about fine tobaccos, Perfect-satisfaction-or-your-money-back FRENCH TOBACCO COMPANY, Dept. A, STATESVILLE, N.C. Another Great Treat JUDGE'S first College Wits number, pub: lished last March, was an amazing success. As it has now become ‘an annual institution with His Honor, the second number, to be published again in March, may be expected even to surpass the first in interest JUDGE now asks its undergraduate friends to begin sending in poems, little essays, jokes and other suitable matter, including drawings, for the number. Each contribution accepted must bear the name, class and college of the contributor, and will be paid for The college making the best showing in the number wins the large silver cup which Cornell won in the first contest, that cup being subject to three winnings by a college before it becomes the permanent property of the college. Two individual silver cups are offered in addi tion, one to go to the artist whose drawing is con. sidered the best submitted (including @ possible cover in colors). Charles Baskerville, Jr., of Cor nell, won this last March. The other gocs to the author of the best bit of text published in the number. Albert R. Stewart. of Dartmouth, won this in the first contest. All contributions must be original and exclusive The contest is conducted on the principle of a track meet. on points. All material submitted must be at the JUDGE. office by February 1, except color designs (in all mediums), which must be in hand two weeks earlier, Address COLLEGE WITS CONTEST. and inclose postage for return in case of rejection. Go toit, boys and girls! The American Circle By tHe Gexearo THE Haneys kept an ecating-house on a side street. Men ate there in their shirt sleeves. Ma Haney did the cooking, and Pa scrubbed the floors and washed the dishes. They were always poor and they had lost all ambition except onc—they wanted their two daughters to do better in life than they them selves had done This second gene ration was sent to school, and when they grew up they married ambitious young men, settled in modest homes with a few solid silver spoons, some hand-painted — china and prints of famous paintings. They were ashamed of their humble parents and wanted more than anything that their children climb higher in the world than they did. So this third gener ation, also two daughters, were trained to be charm- ing, stylish and mod~ prnen by Pace Renty er, They married Actouie rich men and adopted a sporting manner. They were known as spenders, and they lived up to their reputation until both had mortgaged their entire fortunes. The fourth generation had wonderful theories and were determined not to live the reckless life of their parents, but reverses came and they became so disheartened they even lost their ambition .to see their children prosper. 28 JUDGE || A book in fowl language | Swift and sure, and mi fun ns “Its wit comes in nexpected humor By LAWTON MACKALL 5 | Wh eictures by Oliver Herdord Ket $1.25 At booksellers, or from the publishers STEWART & KIDD CO. Cincinnati | Perhaps this is the reason the fifth gener tion has a small eating-house, where they ser corned beef and cabbage, stews, and goulas! They are very, very poor, but they hope f their children, and thus the usual circle } started round a Appraised “No. [haven't spoken to Nellie Smith sin: our house was robbed: “How's that?” “The spoons she gave me for a wedding present were the only things not taken.” MAN WHO BELIEVES IN SIGNS—BUT NoT IN Santa Craus The Things We Do Not Know You were born before you knew it. You were simple but outgrew it. You are wise?—Nothing to it. As you live—be sure, don’t rue it. You will die—You're sure to do it. Ignorance is bliss Grave truth is this Dec \\ oft ind pert com wig ing mos in diu past oor sitti ing line: vob Y ina first You sor ¢ curk this vert your hett