Judge, 1920-12-04 · page 6 of 32
Judge — December 4, 1920 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains a satirical story about a missing whiskey bottle at a Christmas gathering. The narrative depicts a host (Alphonse Jiggles) discovering theft among his twelve "bosom friends" and devising a counting game to identify the guilty party. The left illustration by Merrell De Maris shows "How Father Feels at Christmas Time"—a portly gentleman with an accordion, likely satirizing sentimental holiday traditions. The right illustration by Charles Hughes depicts an exaggerated tall figure with children, captioned "Mr. Mook (selecting a new Xmas cravat)—I kinda like the style of that upper one—let's try that." The humor relies on period-specific references to holiday excess, theft among social circles, and fashion absurdity. Without additional context, the specific individuals or events referenced remain unclear, though the satirical tone targets contemporary holiday customs and social pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Ee a A Sees Es ~~ ah iirc ry De Recenue Agen IN THAT BAC light button and turned on the lights again. He walked to the table and picked up the bottle. A look of anger, sternly repressed, came upon his face: “Gentlemen,” he said, “for you are all gentlemen, an awkward thing has hap. pened. While the lights were out some- ‘one has stolen two inches of the priceless whiskey out of this bottle.” He paused to let this awful fact sink home “I do not pretend to say which of you Drown by Muaant De Mantes How Farwer Frets at Curistaias Vise is guilty,” he continued sternly “You are all my bosom friends and I refrain from accusing any of you, but the missing whiskey must be returned to that bottle On that point I am_ inexorable. Otherwise [send for the poli have you all searched and send the guilty man to prison for nine mil lion years or something like that. I propose to lock the door, turn out the lights and then one hundred, slowly Bef reach one hundred the missing whiskey must be put back in that bottle.” He cast a piercing glance at the twelve men, his bosom friends. Eleven of them met his glance with glances equally firm. These were Jarreau, Jefferson, Josephs, Jenny, Jensen, Johns. Jaeger. Juan. Jor dan, Jones Jupp. (His friends were all J's). Alphonse Jiggles alone refused to meet his eye. Even as Juggs looked Al phonse Jiggles slipped slowly from his chair and slid under the table, where he sat with beating time with one hand while he sang. ickening smile on his face. in a muddled voice, this song Clap hands! Clap hands! till father comes hom He placed his hand on the light’ but ton “Fair warning! Third and last call! ONE HUNDRED!” He flashed on the light. For an in stant the glare blinded him, then a look of sad surprise came into his eyes. The eleven men no longer sat in their chairs They were all under the table. They were all beating time. They were all singing “Clap hands! John Juggs picked up the bottle that tcl For this is the day he gets his pay We'll all stick around and take it away; The poor old jay is on his way, Clap hands! Clap hands!” Mas,” said John Juggs to self, “I know the thief!” At the end of the song Alphonse iggles cried “Whoopee! in a d voice, and dropped back flat on the rug. Only the tip of left little finger moved. and it only wned. twitched. John Juggs fr “Now, gentlemen Juggs. “One!” He stepped across the room and ights. 1 slowly turned out the “Two!” he sa The room was in absolute, pit- like darkness. Alphonse Jiggles snored gently under the table. “Three! Four! Five! Six!” counted John Juggs. with his eyes closed, and “Seven! Eight! Nine!” Sounds began to mingle with the snore of Alphonse Jiggles. Chairs moved. Breaths came thickly Feet scuffled the floor. Men sighed. Moments passed. And still John Juggs counted. “Ninety-seven! — Ninety-cight! Ninety-nine!” his voice rang out. ‘6 said John Drown by Cusuces Heonrs Mr. Monk (selecting a new KINDA LIKE THE STYLE OF THAT UPPER ONL- Let’s TRY THAT.