Judge, 1920-11-27 · page 13 of 32
Judge — November 27, 1920 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Some Virtues" by Walt Mason (Judge Magazine) This satirical piece uses contrasting character sketches to mock social hypocrisy. The narrator complains that his grouchy neighbor Wax lacks politeness—a vice the narrator treats as obvious. However, his friend Jones defends Wax precisely *because* he's rude and won't sell him anything. Jones then extends this logic absurdly: he praises the habitual liar Jimpson because liars are predictable and harmless compared to "polite" people who flatter him into bad deals. The satire attacks the era's pervasive dishonest salesmanship and false courtesy. Jones argues that transparent rudeness or consistent lying is morally preferable to the manipulative politeness used by confidence men and hucksters to separate people from money. The cartoon illustrates three male types: the grouchy man (left), reasonable observer (center), and corpulent rogue (right)—visual shorthand for different social character types. The humor lies in inverting conventional virtue: politeness becomes villainous when used deceptively.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Vuat rettow Wax,” 1 say to Joxes, Some GIVES ME SOME PAIN TO SPARE Virtues By War Mason Mlustrati Y Neighbor Wax is curt and rude, when I bid him din am un Pretending that vod day ial mood he jogs doesn’t hear my greeting, he goes by, and doesn’t even bat an car or wink the other eve That fellow Wax,” [ say to Jones to spare; he’s full of sawdust and he owns the manners of a ar. It always spoils my morning walk to meet a grouchy ng his way “gives me some pain jay who will not dance or sing or talk. or answer my good day. Politeness is the cheapest thing that any man can quote, and it adorns the proudest king, and saves the pauper’s goat. No man can rise to such a height, or sink so beastly low it will not pay to be polite—this all the sages know ow this man Wax has fewer friends than any skate in town; that grouchy mien of his offends, and people turn him down. And if he'd only beam and smile, and smile and beam again, he'd harvest. in a little while, the friendship of all men.” “T think a lot of Wax.” said Jones, “because he’s like a bear: I'm tired of men with dulcet tones, whose friendship is a snare I meet old Wax upon the walk, and he is sour and gruff, and, as you say, he will not talk or pull the sunshine stuff. And so I know he will not try to sell me oil well shares, or nice long strips of azure sky, fruit trees or polar bears. And oh, it is a blessed thing to meet a gent or belle who isn’t agent fora thing, who has no junk to sell! 13 by Raven Barton 1 that all the men I meet were sour as old Bill Wax, of them are smiling sweet as they get down to tacks; but most they get me where I can’t escape, in some sequestered place, and compliment me on my shape, and on my princely grace; they jolly me, these smiling hicks, until my heart grows warm, and then they sell me brazen bricks of every size and form. Polite ness is the stock in trade of all the blue sky jays; of old Bill Way I'm not afraid—Il bless him all my days.” I said to Jones, “That Jimpson guy is an unholy youth; he'd always rather tell a lie than pass along the truth. He's made a sociate with reputation grim that nothing can correct; I can him and hold my self respect.” And Jones, whose views are always queer, replied, “love that lad! Life isa joy when he is near; his falsehoods make me glad. I like the man who aly I know just where he stands; 1 know that truth will lose its eves when passing through his hands. You come and tell a soulful tale that may be false or true; you may be moved by hope of kale to knock the truth askew. You tell the truth when truth scems best to fit the circumstance; and you will lie with eager zest when lics your cause advance. And it is thus with ni hun- dred men; they make the truth look sick and pine, to gain an- other yen. But Joseph Jimpson always lies when truth would her score; and so I boost him to the skies, and will forever ys lies y-nine of eve more.”