Judge, 1920-11-27 · page 12 of 32
Judge — November 27, 1920 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis for Modern Readers **Main Article: "Wanted: Some Old-Fashioned Relatives"** This satirical piece mourns the disappearance of multi-generational household involvement. The author contrasts idealized Victorian-era relatives—grandparents who engaged with grandchildren, unmarried aunts providing childcare and emergency services, extended cousins visiting for free summers—with 1920s modern relatives who are self-absorbed: mothers-in-law seeking spa treatments, fathers obsessed with golf, unmarried aunts writing poetry, sisters as "flapper" debutantes, and cousins owning empty summer homes. The satire's point: modern relatives are useless. The author facetiously claims that having millions of old-fashioned relatives would solve contemporary problems—inflation ("H.C. of L." = cost of living), Bolshevism, and divorce. **The Cartoon** ("Mr. Suburns Tries to Park a Car in the City") depicts a chaotic urban street scene with crowds of small figures, a streetcar, and someone attempting to park—likely satirizing the newfangled automobile's impracticality in crowded cities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Wanted: Some Old-Fashioned Relatives By Fraxces Mornisox T used to be considered very humorous to make a remark something like this: God gave us our relatives, but tha God! we can choose our friends.” Ves, God gave us our old-fashioned relatives and we used to at them behind their backs, and groan when we saw them ng. And now they're gone—lost in the progress of lization. And what have we acquired in their place? Item: Mother-in-law—plays brid young free verse poets, smokes, takes facial massage every day Would go to Palm Beach with a nervous breakdown, if it were suggested she could help out with her grandchildren. Item: Father-in-law -Golf enthusiast. Enough said. for money, adopts <>) mes Wass Mewunt De Manes Mr. Susurns Terres to Park a Car in THE 12 Item: Unmarried aunt—She writes Item: Brother—More inclined to take actresses to sup per than nephews to circus. Item: Sister: 1920 débutante—Quite enough said. Item: Half a dozen cousin families with large and unfilled summer homes. Every other year we are invited for a week end per summer. Where are the good old days when baby used to pull * Grand pa’s” hair and play with his watch-chain? (He wears a toupe and wrist-watch now.) Did we dream that there used to be *¢ who came to stay by the month and did the work of five modern servants and an entertainment troupe? Is it true that there was always an unmarried aunt for young married folks, who spent a few weeks with cach couple, did all the sewing, ete.? Was also on call, 24 hour-365 day service for any S. O. S. emergency like missing cook, measles, big din ner-party? And proud young uncles and aunts, who wheeled baby-car riages and handed out nickels and lollyporps? And = cousins even unto the 37th degree—whom we visited for whole and blissfully gratis summers? What's the matter with the world anyhow? Why, a mil lion old-fashioned _ relatives would knock the stuffing out of the H. C. of L.. turn the sheviki into a mere joke, put the divorce courts on the blink and put all professional rejuvenators out of business. Boy! Page some old-fashioned relatic One Week There was* once an editor who was known and beloved throughout the whole country One week he received a new suit, two chickens, a blushing bride, a grocery order, an ef- ficient maid, a modern home, the latest automobile and a legacy But they were only titles to stories ambitious authors had written, So the editor is still singh Ne Plus Ultra “Your friend McTavish doesn’t seem to be particularly liberal with his money.” “Liberal? Say, that guy doesn't think any more of a nickel than a Californian doe of the climate of his native State.” Feminine Reasoning He—Would you scream if I kissed you? She—Well, [ wouldn't: want Crry to frighten mother.