Judge — November 13, 1920 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Stent Har Digest JOUR Isr g A Big Contract—‘There ought to be a lot of money in writing up this Mars news. “Do you think so?” “Of course. Just look at the space rates.” —Baltimore American. Couldn't Think of It—Ardupp—l say, old man, will you endorse a note for me ditor—My dear chap, my professional training forbids me having anything to do with paper written on both sides. Boston Transcript Don’t Try to Get Fresh!—A certain young lady tried to act smart by refusing to let the Mirror-Sun reporter know where she was going when she boarded the train a few days ago. It does not worry us any, but it reveals a peculiar trait of character, to say the least. But we want to serve warning right here that we will not tolerate any nonsense of this kind, and if you are looking for a public expose and roast’ just try a few capers of this kind.—Lyons (Ill.) Mirror- Sun. Detecting Made Easy—Abe Cronk- hite has a big potato patch cast of town. Tuesday morning he went out to it and saw where somebody had dug more than a bushel of the spuds. He say's it was a man and woman, as he could detect their tracks plainly, and he says their knee prints were also visible in the soft dirt where they had knelt to pick up the potatoes. Abe also states that he knows who they are, as he saw the woman down- town salesday and she had dirty knees.— Altoona ( Kan.) Tribune. of the World’s After the Kick—Mont Casey, the Clinton editor, was in town Wednesday. Mont says that in some of the places in Clinton where they sell “moonshine” they now give you a whisk broom with every drink. The broom is to brush yourself off after you get up from the floor.—Terre Haute Tribune. Nothing Doing—‘he British Govern- ment is said to be ind ustriously searching for a suitable wife for the young Prince of Wales. But pass on, gents, this town is not interested.—Blue Grass (Ky Clipper. The Worm Turns—We always be lieved in that old adage of helping some poor soul, but it seems that every time we get tight other folks forget it.—Bos well Okla.) News The Sting of Truth Old Lady—Ie you WANT TO REMAIN PRETTY, ALWAYS, YOU MUST BE GOOD. Her Youngest. Grandchild — MA, YOU MUST HAVE BEEN avonty!—Le Rire (Paris) nen, Grann- VERY, VERY Humor A Rara Avis—The Bird Store Man had a new pet which greatly interested in- quisitive Ichabod. “What kinda bird asked. “ThatisanAbyssinian LoopusThrush.” is that?” the boy “Kin it sing? “That's just what it can’t do a-ything else but. “What does it sing like?” “Tt can imitate any other bird there is.”” “Can it imitate a catbird?” Sure pop.” nit im Easy.” ‘Can it imitate a “Tt does that every few minutes.” “Can it imitate acy “Yep. ‘Cooks’ and “Can it imitate a-a-a-sandpiper?” I tell you it imitates every bird there € a peewee?” a robin.” koo?” ‘oos’ both then, trot it out and let's Youngstown Ml right it imitate a ostrich,” see Telegram Fooling Friend Wife—* Do you ever miss money out of your pockets when you get up in the morning?” asked Mr. Woodenwedding. “Naw,” replied Mr, Silverwedding. Svery night before I go home I put my money in an envelope and mail it to my self at my office.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. Household Navigation—“ But this flat isn’t large enough to turn around in.” “You must judge of that,” said the agent, loftily. “However, if you haven't yet learned how to head into and back out of a flat, it’s time you were learning —Birmingham Age-Herald.