Judge — October 30, 1920 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

————————————————— a a. WITH THE COLLEG . Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible SRK HOES, “How po you cet so MANY GiRts?” “L SPRINKLE SOME GASOLINE ON MY HAND kercuter."—Columbia Jester. —- A Mistake He was having a wonderful time. She was troubled. It was leap year. He did not know it, but she was a vampire. She didn’t blush when he placed his arm about her waist, and unconsciously moved closer. Her skirts might have been above her knees, but who cared—and besides, the stockings were silk and expensive. And at that her calves were shapely and well developed. } Sweet nothings he murmured into her shell- pink car. The stray wisps of hair thrilled him pleasantly as they brushed against his hot cheeks. She knew he had fallen, and that the time for the proposal was at hand. Heartlessly she cooed at him: “Don’t you ever need sympathy? Don’t you ever feel a longing for tenderness?” she sighed. “Uh-huh,” replied her vic- tim, “when I order a steak."” —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. A Little Bird A little bird sat on a tree, And hopped from limb to limb, And kept his beady eye on me, The while I looked at him. I stood and watched him much amused— Until a thought occurred That it was very possible that I amused the bird.— Carnegie Tech. Puppet. ill (QC DOA ) Right! Just why some maidens Dye their hair, And street cars charge \ six-cent fare, Nobody knows, Or seems to care. Why rounders go To New York, where They scatter money ywhere, Nobody knows, Or seems to care. But if my girl should Change her air, And say we'd make A happy pair, There’s one who'd know, And one who'd care.— Yale Record. Foolish Excited Co-ed—Oh, heavens! pin; what shall I do? Heartless One—Well, don't make all that fuss over a pin. Here’s another one.—Penn State Froth. I swallowed a Regret Judge—Don't you regret having killed the pedestrian with your golf ball? Golfer (regretfully) —I certainly do, judge. If he hadn’t of got in the way I'd a made that hole in one under par.—Michigan Gargoyle } A | She—Won't you sit pown? He—Arvrer you, vear.—Yale Record. CUR h —Carolina Tar Raby. Let's Go! The guests were ing. Their Rolls-Rufi stood at the curb. The air was cold and damp. he host and his family walked down to the gate with them, shivering. The chief guest toyed with the crank a few minutes and then there was a roar and an evolution of smoke. “Well, good-bye,” said the hoste give regards to George and the rest. " ed ourselves immense! admitted tersely the important one be- hind the wheel. “Good-bye, all of you.” “Good-bye,” said the guests, with a wave of the hand. And then the motor stalled. —Pennsyleania Punch Bowl “And Parallel Case Jazz (reading Kipling)— “And the burnt fool's ban- daged hand goes wabbling back to the fire.” Razz (sorrowfully)—He must have had the like of me in mind. Jazz—And just why? Ri I'm just at present giving the oF envelope to my third wife—Pitt Pan- ther. Teboo! 4 |