Judge — October 30, 1920 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

( | | | ns a ee oe eee The Patient Followed Directions— The tramp entered the diaconal coun cil “Gentlemen,” he began, “your pardon for disturbing you, but I am very sick.” He paused after this announcement to note the effect “TI went to the doctor,” he continued, “And he gave me the pills—see, the pills,” and he held up to view a small bottle. “He said, take these pills, three after each meal, and I would like very much to have some assistanc “Well, why don’t you take your pills then, and not come bothering here?” in- terposed a deacon. “Gentlemen,” replied the tramp with much unction, “I can not take the pills; I have no meal.” He got the r Man Plays Many Parts The Old Member AS A RASCAL The New Member—You ane privitecen TO LOOK UPON ME IN ANY CHARACTER YOU pestre To assume.—World (London) I Look vron you, str, The Brain and the Stomach— “Wouldn’t that woman give you your dinner for sawin’ up a pile of wood?” asked Meandering Mike. “Yes,” answered Plodding Pete. “But I called the deal off. As soon as I looked at the wood pile I lost my appetite. Washington Star. Maternal Thrift “You OUGHT TO MAKE HIM WALK, MADA! “Hes! Do vou THxk so 3 He's A BIG BOY Now.” AT THE PRICE OF sHOE-LEATHER? "—Le Rire (Pari. Complications—* What the trouble with your singing society “Tt was a fine societ replied Jud Tunkins, “but the singing was hard to The wealthy and influential we depended on to keep it going ppened to have poor voices.” ton Star. was Washin At the Musicale—* Professor Adagio just raved over Josephine’s playing.” “How rude! Why couldn’t he conceal his feelings like the rest of us?""—Boston Transcript. Lulled to Slumber—" Has your hus- band a good ear for music?” “I'm afraid not. He seems to think that everything he hears played in church is a lullaby.” —Detroit Free Press A Musical Morning—“ What's the row with that operatic couple in the next flat?” “He started it with a recitative to the effect that the breakfast was bum Now she’s coming back with an aria telling exactly what sort of a brute he is.” —Louisville Courier-Journal, Miter much household, one lone An Artless Question advertising in the applicant called relative to the position of general houseworker. There was a lengthy interview—most of the ques. tioning being done by Mandy, a dusky daughter of the Sunny South. Finally negotiations were completed and Mandy agreed to start work at 9 o'clock the ‘following morning. The family was jubilant, but at 9 no Mandy. arrived Ten o'clock came, but still no Mandy. At rr the door-bell rang, and there stood the new incumbent, with her boxes and She beamed on her new mistress and explained: “Ah do hope you folks will all ‘scuse mah lateness, but jest as Ah wuz a-coming out mah teacher called to give me mah music lesson. Ah done forgot to ask last night if you-all was fond of the clarinet." — New York Evening Sun. bags. No music “No,” replied Mr. Growcher. “If 1 did I'd have to holler to make myself heard and people would merely think I was part of the band.”—Washington Star. ance—“Do you object to jazz comicbooks.com