Judge — October 23, 1920 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drown by Bawksoaue Rookns Mr. Knowall—You seeon't ONLY $2 IN MY POCKET. Mrs. Knowall—You wicut wave AOULD WANT TO BUY SOMETHING. Mr. Knowall—I viv. LOOK AT THOSE HATS, BECAUSE KNOWN WHEN WE CAME ov “One hundred eighty-three dollars and twenty-seven cents,” replied Farmer Brown William James was about to ask why the twenty-seven cents, but he decided it was useless to worry about such a trifle He would go back to the City; thank the General Manager for his kindness; then jump froma skyscraper; or cast himself into the lake; or mayb When he arrived in the office, the General Manag forhim. The Directors’ Meeting had just adjourned, a liam James was to meet the Directors, inform: They all shook hands with the new Man. Plant, and left. All except the President. man like William James once. He invited William James to dinner that night, and he went The President’s daughter, Mary, Agnes was there. She was a peach, a queen, an angel, the essence and quintessence of all things lovely since the world began. How could he get her? If he talked about himself might act like Isabel Pearl might act like Bessi ‘Then came an Inspiration: “Tell them nothing and treat ‘em rough.” So all evening he listened to the President’s advice and reminiscences and he did not see Mary Agnes at all. There was another evening; then another; in fact, many more just like the first one. Mary Agnes left telephone messages for him, but he ignored them; she wrote him notes, but he did not answer them; she dressed in her most costly gowns when he came, but he never naticed them. One evening when he called, the President was out Mary Agnes laid her lovely head on his coat lapel; she twined her beautiful arms around his neck. That was about all Except they were married in a coupla months. nd Wil of the South He had been a young, ambitious nd his ambitions, she if he flattered her, she CPL The Music When I Dine By Cuantes B I WANT no other music when I dine Than your dear voice, sweet Ann o’ mine; TOL The orchestra seems strangely out of tune— I hate the crashing drums, the deep bassoon I love the melody of your low voice; Your every word is music of my choice. If music must be played when people dine. I'd like it soft and soothing, like old wine For songs they sing I do not care a bit, I crave much more the sparkle of your wit. ‘The man that plays the noisy xylophone, I'd like to crush his every finger-bone! I want no music when I dine Than your dear voice, sweet Ann o° mine. Brewing Trouble Drummer (in Prohibition store)—Why is that crowd of loafers following that motherly looking old lady? Clerk (confidentially) —That’s the constable and a lot of deputies he’s sworn in to help enforce the That old woman they are watching bought a pound of she 1 nave tT tuat I law. sugar, some raisins and a yeast cake, and yesterday bought five pounds of corn meal. Why Not? “You'd better lengthen those skirts, Marie.” “Une” “Gentlemen are apt to mistake you for a little girl and try to take you on their laps.” ® “Well? ” Something Neat and Nobby Hubbe—Have you named it yet? Subbe—No. Hang it, we can’t seem to think of one that suits us both, I like Oakcrest and the wife thinks Knollwood is neat Hubbe—I didn’t mean your new home. I meant the bal Subbe—Oh, her! | ancrrngs Roum WZ SS < FAAS Tue Unoertyine Drown by Pact, Gone Principat comicbooks.com