Judge — October 16, 1920 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cotober 16, 1920 Morning | By Curr Suarne | | CORNING is that section of the day M. when whistles blow and the only | ~ hookoo who is rich enough’ to sleep in sa neighbor who goes to work ina Ford. It braces the rising of the sun, from which the | gent takes a tip and goes forth to snag the ly breaded veal cutlet. The woman who t her dishes in the sink the night before in ler to make a movie, vows against repetition. ks crow menacingly. Larks gargle. Noth s more forlorn than a hot dog stand at an vusement park. Little Marcus crawls in with lad and Mother, And the auctioneer who eps with his mouth open is all ready for work ren he awakes. In the morning commuters commute. eggs. Yeggs lay off. The dew is on the rose d the milkman’s on his toes. Cereals are inched seriously. Where a dark-brown taste sts the prospect is colorless. And the traffick- s cop shoots a go and a stop while the butcher | ing the steak and the chop and mother | hunting the old clothes prop. The laborer, in the morning, punches the ne. Then, when he has it groggy, he kills off The golfer and the baseball | jan look at the standing of the clubs. The } toothbrush seems ineffectual, at times, and id be equipped with a vacuum cleaner at- | tachment. The alarm clock furrows the fertile | reamland, And when the wife snoozily, but in- sistently, kicks the breadwinner out, he hums snatehes of: “You Made Me What I Am To lay. | Hope You're Satistied.” | Kid-curlers are covered, in the morning. The srocer pulls up the awning, yawning. The ham who rolls over for twenty more winks |} loses his job and curses his jinx. The traveler, hecking out at the hotel, wonders if he has | enough left to complete his journey. The fisherman who bales out the boat in the sum- } mer empties the ashes in winter, And the only morning that is actually worth-while is that of the Sabbath. When, on the fifteenth consecu tively delicious rollover, comes the aromatic »nviction that mother has the coffee on. Hens the day at leisure. Utopia By Texsysox J. Darr If things were as they ought to be, Not merely as they are, Each dimpled, giggling little fan | Would be a movie star, And every lounging hired man Would quickly lay on fat, Accumulate side-whiskers, | And be a plutocrat. New Tricks for Old Dogs Client I'm having a lot of trouble with my ife. Lawyer (formerly a garage man, absently) Well, bring her in and leave her here a few days | Il look her over, and I'll give you a other one to use in the mea ntime Antithesis of F: The man who believes he aith n't, can’t. THE SHOE THAT HOLDS ITSGP/ SHAPE $720 $800 $900 & $10.00 SHOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN YOU CAN SAVE MONEY BY WEARING W. L. DOUGLAS SHOES Ly e best known shoes in the world. They are sold in 107 W. L. Douglas stores, direct ) SHOES from the factory to you Wy #45055.005550 at only one profit, which guarantees to you the best shoes that can be produced, at the lowest possible cost. W.L. Douglas name and the retail price are stamped on the bottom of all shoes before they leave, the factory, which is your protection against unreasonable profits. ‘W.L.Douglas $9.00 and $10.00 shoes are abso- lutely the best shoe values for the money in this country. They are made of the best and finest leathers that money can buy. They combine quality, style, worl hi, d wearing quali- ties equal toother makes selling at higher prices. They are the leaders in the fashion centers of America. The stamped price is W.L. Douglas personal guarantee that the shoes are always worth the price paid for them. The prices are the same everywhere; they cost no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. W. L. Douglas shoes are made by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and supervision of experienced men, all working with an honest determination to make the best shoes for the price that money can buy. . Douglas shoes are for sale by over 9000 shoe dealers ides our own stores. If your local dealer cannot supply you, take no other make. Order direct from factory. Send for booklet telling how to order shoes by muil, postage free. stamped on the sole. Be careful to see President W.L. Douglas Shoe Co., 145 Spark Street, that it has not been changed or mutilated. Brockton, Mass. Eee enn LT Ee Ta etre aa ; CAUTION.—Insist upon having W.L_Doug- las shoes. The name and price is plainly Her Bookkeeping She—I saved the money to buy this sweater dear. He—NVery unusual. How did you do it? She—1 bought it with the money vou gave me for my hat—and had the hat charged True to Its Name Mrs, Willis (whispering to her husband at fashionable dinner)—That one there is the fish-fork, John Mr. Willis—Don't I know it? I've fished it out of the gravy three times already. Deven by CW. Kaiten 2xTRA-Dry Gin ‘on sleuth in the South—Bu- SOUTHERNERS SOIT'NLY 18 Better Times, Better Reasons “Mrs. Gaydog is secking a divorce on strictly modern lines.” “Zatso? What grounds?” “Incompatibility of political beliefs.” | n prohibiti LIEVE ME. THESE Neavy cuys! 27 J comicbooks.com