Judge — October 16, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Bootlegger Calls—* A man wishes to see you, sir.” “Well, what does he want? his name?” asked Mr. Grabcoin, bly “He wouldn't state his business or give his name, sir. He told me to hand you this cork and you would understand.” “Oh—er—quite right, quite right Show the gentleman in.""—Birmingham A ge- Herald. What is irasci- In the Old Days—* Mr. Flivver, I'm Tony, your old barkeeper, I'm out of a job, and—" I don’t want to hear your troubles.” “There's gratitude for you. I've tened to yours for hours at Louisville Courier-Journal. a time.""— Somebody Won—Mrs. Crimsonbeak— What's the piece of string around your finger for, John? Mr. Crimsonbeak—Why, I met. a friend on my way home, and he bet me I had some good stuff in my cellar. “Well?” “T bet him I hadn't.” “And then what?’ I put the string “or what, pray “To remind me when I got home to visit my cellar.” And you're going in the cellar now?” “Yes, I'm going down to see who won the bet. "— Yonkers Statesman. bund my finger.” That Was Different—* No,” insisted Mr. Wetmore, “I can’t serve on the jury You see, my business—” Too b interrupted the court officer. “We need good men like you This is a search an’ seizure case an’ here’s a gallon of genuine old red- eye to go in evidence for the consid- eration of the jury, an’ the defendant'll hafta tell where he got it.” “However,” resumed Mr. Wetmore, as 1 was about to say, jury service is a patriotic duty. I'll make the sacrifice.” — New York Evening Globe. Above Board—J'cast—They tell me the dwellings in Havana have no cellars. Crimsonbeak—Well, believe me, from the reports I've heard from frie! who have been there they don’t need any!— Yonkers Statesman. All Comes Out in the Wash a5 “Wren [wast My LINEN IT BECOMES TOO TIGHT To FIT ME” “Went, “The former town sot Triumphant seems perky these day “Yes, it was freely: predicted for that whisky would kill him. But, as sce, he outlasted it.""—Louisville Courier- Journal. take what Able to Carry It—"Ii you whisky for your stomach’s sake, about your head?” 1y head can take care of itself, sir,” replied Colonel Jagsby. “I have the good fortune to possess, sir, the ca- pacity of a Southern gentleman.” Birmingham Age- Herald Art and the Commercial Spirit “BUT WHY HAVE YOU MADE sty PORTRAIT . xupe?” “TLL pkess you IF IT sutts you, at Tu ACTUAL CHARGE OF THE TAILORS... COMPLETE SUIT FOR ONE HUXDRED AND FIFTY pottars.”—Journal Amusant (Paris). 19 WHY DON'T You WASH YouRSELT? ?"— Kasper (Stockhotm). Publicity and Practice—‘How did you lay the foundation for your colossal fortune?” asked the young man. “IT worked all day and studied all night,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax. “I attended church regularly and avoided all bad habits— “Is this the way you would to proceed?” _“Why—er—I didn’t know you wanted the information for your personal use. That's different, of course. I thought it was an interview for a magazine article.” —Washington Star. advise me Echo of the Rise in Prices—‘ Here you are, dear, run and buy something,” said Augustus, slipping a coin into the hand of hi: ister, hoping thus to be able to squeeze in afew moment's bliss with his lady-love. “Do you know what you've given me?” asked the amazed infant “Yes, dear. That's a penny,” the suitor. “Well, pethaps you'll be good enough to tell me if there are shops left where anything is sold at a penny,” queried the child, scornfully.—La Baionnette (Paris). returned comicbooks.com