Judge — September 25, 1920 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

September 25, 1920 ti] Brows by Pact Rriuty Home-Made Tragedy SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE, Pock eT FULL OF CASH, Four AND TWENTY RAISINS Surrep into A MASH. Wien THE BREW FERMENTED, Iv ave stew vr, 1 tHisk— Now WASsn'T THAT AN AWFUL THING ‘To HAPPEN TO A DRINK! Little Bits of Human Nature MOREY tats tourest before election The mystery in the past of every woman is the date of her birth. Of automobiles, there are two kinds: the quick and the dead. It makes a woman happy to harbor the delu- sion that men envy her husband When a wot grows stout, she becomes sus nesty of all weighing scales. cramble to get to the front, some men -s in a position to be kicked When you think you are right, go ahead, but don't get sore if the crowd doesn’t follow you. Probably the man who boasts that he sleeps like a log actually sleeps like a sawmill in action The theory of parlor-Bolshevists is that they can land on top by turning the world upside down. Somnolent “T fell asleep in the street car today.” “Tired?” “No, but the advertisements were so dull.” Rialto Chat “There are parts one can play fora lifetime.” “Like Rip Van Winkle, for instance.” “Yes, and Little Eva.” GYPTIAN DEITIES “The Utmost in Cig arettes” Plain End or Cok 7) People of culture and ney Paarhiy- PREFER_ Deities other cigarette. toany Habers of the Minetin Opin It Happens “Fight people for a seven-passenger car.” “An annoying problem “Yes, pa was put out. Inquisitive Voice over "Phone—Hello! Will you cat luncheon with me? Hall Room—YVes, who is speaking? Drawn by G. B. Ixwoos “How p'ye EXPEC’ ME TO SEE WOT'S IN your eye? Your EYE is CLOSER TO IT THAN ——= \b Father and Son Ry Crarres Irvin Juxnin tt First TWICE-DAILY one-reel_ picture ahi \ tolerated member of another family, not ours \ dispenser of nickels and pennies. A Diased defender of sisters, \ signer of school reports. A heavy-handed justice of the peace. in the Later and vather ridiculous economist. \ very heavy comedian. An easy ma n An unreasonable squelcher of youth, \ poor judge of tobacco. \ worse judge of girls. An out-of-date sport. A social fossil. A slow writer of checks. Yet Later, Sometimes, Alas! An incumbrance, A relief. A reversal of judgment. A remorse. A memory. The Crux of Uncle’s Ennui “You are suffering from brain fag and ennu announced the specialist. “You must have a change. Get into some business in which you take more intere “T would like’ to,” replied the patient, “but the law won't let me.” “What do you mean by that?” asked the doctor. “1’m a pawnbroker.”