Judge — September 25, 1920 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, Disheartened I've rhymed about Rosalind, Rosie, and Ruth, And even sung songs to Suzanne; But none of them’s bettered my drag. so for sooth I'm sorry I ever began! I've versified Vivian, Velma, and Vi, Ard lyricized Laura and Lou; And secing my efforts have failed to get by. I shan't try much longer—would you? I've poemed to Polly, and Paula, and Peg And caroled to Carrol and Claire; And though I’m still sure I’m a pretty good I don’t seem to get anywhere! I've used all my knowledge of science and arts, And fancied myself quite a sage; And while I can’t manage to break any hearts, I've managed to fill up a page! —Princeton Tiger. Cleaning House First Freshman—What have you done with all your pictures? Your walls look awfully bare. Second Disto—Oh, you sce, mother says she’s coming up to SE SRN OF alge te ee were i —Have you THIs DANCE ely)—Nort ver. ously) —PLease WOLD THIS STocie wuite | DANCE —Notre Da Juggler. Wi How tue Facutty Witt Srexp Tae Satary Increase AND THE WORST SHALL LOOK THE BEST, accorpinc To New Haven’s TAILORS, COUNT ING ON THE SALARY RAISE FOR INSPIRATION Hearo tx Oro Stoaxe—DerartMentat SLOGAN, NO CARS, NO B.BIES, NO WORK —Yale Record. A Senior's Legacy To whom it may concern: I cheerfully recommend my old girl to any undergraduate young man wanting a suitable dating com- panion for next year She is a good dancer physically and morally. She is a good looker. She is a good listener She isn’t too good. She is an excellent pedestrian, in fact, she will always say that she likes to walk, although she is not prejudiced against a car. She is a fairly light cater except on Sunday. It is advisable to eat table d’héte on Sunday. She is a woman of deep emotions whom only you will be able to thrill. She has, to the best of my knowledge, ab- solutely no ideas of her own on any subject, except you. My sole and simple reason for quitting her is that I am leaving school. Treat her right She likes to be treated.—/owa Frivol. A Long Wait “There's a story in this paper of a woman that used a telephone for the first time in eighty-three years.”” “She must be on a party line.””— Notre Dame Juggler Willing to Sacrifice Birthdays First Prof—It provokes me when I think that I can’t have a bottle of liquor to celebrate my birthday. Second Prof—I could get along without it on birthdays if I could have it on other days. —Brown Jug. u JUDGE WITH THE COLLEGE WITS Irresponsible A Rhapsody A bite to eat— Some shredded wheat, And then An egg or two; The morning news, A quiet snooze, And lo! The lecture’s through. A little bluff On learned stuff, Ho, hum! It’s not bad fun; Somewhat a bore, But nothing more— And soon The section’s done. A question sheet, A survey flect, And then A muttered “ Damn!” Three hours there In wild despair, And lo! A flunked exam. Harvard Lampoon. He—My Ancestors WERE ALL PEOPLE OF BRAINS. She—Too wad you WERE DISINHERITED. —Cornell Wider.