Judge — September 18, 1920 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

September 18,1920 Snoppy-Quops No. 10 FS, murray £— cs Quito by W. C. Trrcome y F. S. Murray HERE was an old bird with a bore Who “T really don’t sce, He chuckled with glee. Why no one has done this bef>re.”” wed both his feet to the floor. The Business Instinct Harry came into the house one day with five sticks of red and white candy. “Who gave you the candy?"’ asked his mother. “Nobody,” replied — the youngster, “I buyed it at the candy store.” “But I have given you no money for candy,” said his mother. “How could you buy it?” “Oh,” replied Harty, “I got twusted just as you and papa do.” Acting on Advice Henrietta loved to go to church. One Sunday morning | while she was making prep- arations to go, an accident befell her only clean dress and her mother told her she would have to remain at home. During the long pray her mother heard childish footfalls coming up the and in a moment Henrietta slipped into the pew wearing her soiled everyday frock. On the way home the mother asked her why she had come to church after she isle been forbidden to do so, and th: child replied, “Well, Mother, you've ilways told me to take all my troubles to God, so after you started for hurch I went to my room and asked God what He would do if He were | in my place, and He said to me, ‘Henrietta, you go.’” ‘The Real Thing By Texxysox J. Dart He called himself a patriot; we heard him shout and cheer, \postrophize the Gr. id Old Flag in accents loud and clear, And when he got religion we listened to his moans, \s in despair he flung him down upon his marrow-bones. And when he was converted we saw him gaily rise And belch forth hallelujahs unto the startled skies. These things had moved him much, he thought, but later gave his word That till a idow won his love he really hadn’t stirred. The Standard of Measurement Poct—Outrageous! You offer me only two dollars for this poem and 1 pent all day on it. Why a gas-fitter gets $1.25 an hour. Editor—Well, if you were as particular about your imeter as a gas-fitter is about his, so would you. His Housing Problem A Missouri farmer who called his newly employed hired man out of bed t four o’clock in the morning was surprised a few mcments later to sce | man walking off down the road. ay! Come back an’ eat breakfast ‘fore you go to work!” “T ain't goin’ to work, here to stay all night.” the man called back. “‘I’m goin to hunt some- Still Deferring It First Suburbanite—How’s Dobbin’s vacation fever? Second Same—Getting worse. bread folders. His temperature has risen to thirty rail- Movable Affair “How often does your bridge club meet?” “Depends on how violently we quarreled at the previous session,” | | 27 — Will the Housewife Who Admits “I Know Nothing About Mazola” Please Read this Message and Begin to Save Money On Her Cooking and Salads? VERY housewife should study carefully her food expense, and see where she can get something better than she is now using—for less money. More n seven million alert housewives in America. are saving money every day with Mazola AZOLA is more economical to use than butter and lard. It is 100% pure vegetable oil—con- tains no moisture. When deep frying with Mazola the food is never heavy and soggy. There is no loss from evaporation nor loss of bulk from heating. Mazola can be used over and over again, even after frying fish and onions. You only need to strain it,’and it will be ready for use again. ‘OR salads, Mazola is equal to the finest imported olive oil— and sells for about half the price. Your grocer sells Mazola in pint, quart, half-gallon and gallon cans. } Sixty-four page beautifully illus- trated Corn Prod- ucts Cook Book. Write today. Corn Products Refining Co. P. O. Box 161, New York.