Judge — September 11, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TOYS y all for fm Learn to Dance! +: Two-Step. Walte and la Gety dances in your o " Room 602 hiss Retore Ula Vong MARVEL, 546 4th Avenue, Pittsburgh | Pa. The Usual Meaning How “Ah, Mr. Gloom! looking! “That will do!” young you snarled J. Fuller Glooi (75¢ we will send nywhere Jed if not bers take are m. “1 am aware that I am approaching the sere and yellow stage, but Iamnot yet as old as that!” Both Payer and Payee Wife—John, dear, would you like me to gi you a diamond for your birthday? Husband—No; you know I can't afford poy for a diamond just now. The Golden Mean all ve to ‘There would be a lot more silence if people talked only of the things they know. His Version Theatrical Manager (reading card)—Dan Stepper, V. C. So! You've been cited bravery! Actor—Oh, no! That means “ YY DONT YOU wr THE WORDS FOR A SONG WELL MELP-vOU ALONG By rompasing the sasie FREE snd pabiohing KeepYourSkin-Pores Active and Healthy With Cuticura 1 Soap Soup, Olntment.Talcam he everywhere Pot ticara Laborateries, Dept. 7, D. for very clever.” My Lady’s Dress Sy Stecea V, Ketrersan My Lady’s dress is fair to see, As forth she fares so airily; Although we're prone to criticize, There is no evil in her eyes— She is the pink of purity! We're shocked at the transparency Of what she wears! But Goodness Me— Men wore the stuff!’ Then they chastise My Lady's dress! It is too short for decency In very truth, we suw her knee, When she stept on the car! Tho’ wise— Stone-deaf to all the gasped O My'st But who decrees what it shall be? My Lady's dress! Famous Names of Fiction Mamie Taylor. Tom Collins. Tom and Jerry. Col. Rickey. An Imagist First Author — My mother always thought I would be a remarkable man. Second Author—No wonder you much imagination. You inherited it! have so Why, Indeed! Why doth said busy little bee— Improver of cach hour— Shove his old stinger into me With all his spiteful power? Experienced First Guest (at a smart wedding) —Wonderful experience, this getting married. Second Guest—Ever tried it? “T once married the bride.” Pet Names I'm going to call my airplane, “Truth,” ‘Twill spare me lots of pain, For when it’s crushed to carth, forsooth, Why, it will rise again! As You Wish Patient—What, three dollars for pulling a tooth? You certainly carn your money quickly. Dentist—Oh, if you prefer, I can do it very slowly. Willie’s Enthusiasm “So you've got Willie intersted in Sunday- he’s upstairs now picking an All-Saints Your Perfume or Your Life “John, John; I hear a burglar... after my jewels.” “Jewels, thunder! after your cologne.” he’s Give me that gun; he’s The Sphinx Speaks After forty a woman never laughs unless she means it. JUDGE “No Man’s Land” By David Robinson HIS clever pictu on of one | of the many JUDGE heavy mat, 1x14, attractive decora. I be mailed post free upon receipt « twenty-five cents, stamp cash or Judge Art Print Department 215 Fifth Avenue New York City Overwhelming Opulence “Hack Peddicord is what you'd call well fixed, hain't he?” asked a neighbor. “Well fixed?" echoed Gap Johnson, of Rum- pus Ridge, Ark. “Why, man alive, he’s plump rich!—he's got six shirts!” Looking for Trouble Wesi—I'm keeping a diary now. North—Man, man! Haven't you got enough to conceal from your wife without that? Come Again! “What did you say?” Nothing.” “OF course. this time?” But how did you express it The Sayings of Little Marian “The horse and the cow is in the field,” read the teacher. “Now Marian, what is wrong with that sentence?” Little Marian, better versed in politeness than in grammar, answered promptl. “The lady should be mentioned fi In Consideration of Editorial Needs “Marie,” said the Poet, “put in my obituary ‘no flowers, only a few stamped envelopes.’ ” All Arranged Willis—Is everything all arranged for your operation Gillis—Yes. The doctor has made some very searching inquiries of my banker, and I've talked things over informally with the undertaker, icomicbooks-com