Judge — September 4, 1920 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

, 4 y AFTER ALL— here's nothing s0 good for quenching the thirst or satisfying the inner man as.a gla of DHLEONID. FORMERLY KNOWN AS CHECONA EVANS ALE Supplied in Cases by Progressive Dealers H. Evans & Sons Estab. 1736 Hudson, N. Y. | FREE™ {t to os, with your name and {ng money): and ww ween 703 gr Famous KARwan nazon by retern mail, postpaid he vaso fi Ey then it yoo. vate ltapy ee it you don't ‘sant iim. EYE WATER strengthens weak, inflamed eyes, and is an ideal 7 ood since 1798. Keep your eyes well and they will help keep you. 35c spire fats or Sent by Mail Upon Receipt of Price Write for eur Booklet. It le FREE JOHN L. THOMPSON SONS & CO. 168 River St., Troy. N.Y. Our Puzzling Language listened attentively while Ker mother telephoned a grocery order. The last item in the list was evidently a new Over this she pondered for a long Four-year-old Dorothy one to her. and finally inquired, thoughtfully tim “Mamma, did you send for some corn starch?” “Yes, Dearie.” “What for? Is you goin’ to launder your corns?” Another Victim She was reading the get-rich-rapidly adver usements. “Harry, do you take much stock in these promotion schemes?” “All T can afford to, ling the carfare in his pocket. he sighed, jing Use This Chest FREE. “Men Are So Insistent” Sympathy By Gro. B. Jexxixs Miustration by Avaret Levertxc HENEVER I am with Millicent, very sympathetic. “You cannot possibly imagine,” “how exhausting it is to be popular.” I nod sympathetically. “Men are so insistent,” she continues. n flatter and coax and persuade one eter- They refuse to take ‘No’ for an answer. This week I had fourteen invitations to din- ner. Of course, I managed to arrange that some of the invitations were changed to luncheons, but some men positively decline to understand.” I smile sympathetically. “If T go to a dance,” she resumes, “I have to divide my dances among a number of men, and none of them are pleased. If I go to the theatre. my box is so crowded, I cannot see or hear the F It is positively impossible for me to have an evening to myself. I am in despair!” I sigh sympathetically. The moment I leave sympathetic. For Millicent is fair, fat and forty, wrinkled, rouged, and robust; hennaed, enameled, and, alas! frightfully conceited! I am she says, icent, I cease to be Quelques Choses Banales Owing to the somber character of many of his pieces, a certain critic has scen fit to dub Rachmaninoff “ Blue Serge.” | Specific Gravity | Browne—The trouble with the average woman is she has no sense of humor. Towne—I dare say that is why she so often takes a man seriously. Speaking Honestly, but Confideatially “Which of the various liquor mi proposed do you consider best, Senator?” “Well, just between ourselves,” whispered Senator Trimmer, “I prefer the old-fashioned three fingers.” 30 WALL-NUTS man? JUDG: Ly James Montgomery Flagg This clever picture, in full colors, rix1y mounted on a heavy mat, ready for the frame, sent prepaid for twenty-five cents. Judge Art Print 225 Fifth Avenue New York City f i Somewheres By Bertox Bratey [ WANNA go somewheres else— Somewhere else than here, Where a different people dwells In a different atmosphere. I dunno just where to go I dunno’s I even care But I wanna pack up and blow For I’m achin’ to get somewhere. An’ it ain't that my life is tough An’ it ain’t no matter of pay, It’s just that I’ve had enough An’ I wanna be on my way; For today an’ the day before An’ tomorra are all the same An’ a life like that is a bore A deadenin’ sort of game, Or it seems that way to me Though others may like it fine; Well, let "em stay where they be, But I want a change in mine. So I wanna go somewhere else For I’m hearin’ a kind of call, An’ I’m gonna go semewhere else, Anywheres else at all! An Open Account Why is he considered such a solid Herwell: Powell—On account of his liquid assets. Books Received The Eve of Pascua, vy Richard Dehan. Doran Company.) ntand The Revolution, by Mauric : Holt and Company.) Florence Irwin. (G. P. (George H. Printed” Bible: Saint Matthe (Doubleday, Page & Company.) Political Thought fom Locke to Bentham, by Harold J. Laski. (Henry Holt & Company.) , by Allan Monkhouse. (Henry Holt & ) Hour, by Norman Hapgood. (Be iveright.) Cape Currey, by Réné Juta. (Henry Holt & Com pany.) The Uncensored Letters of a Canteen Girl, Anony- mous. (Henry Holt & Company.)