Judge — September 4, 1920 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

S ptember 4, 1920 Snoppy Quops Pur Bicyciors W.C. Tircoms Sketch by F.S. Murray HIE human body here ‘tis seen Amalgamates with a machine. Of course, it isn’t quite complete, It lacks a handle-bar and seat; But then not meant at all for show It simplifies the up-keep so. \ pair of wheels to either shin Are neatly fastened with a pin. He isn’t what you'd call obese He lives on bolts and axle-grease. He took a Tricycle for a ride They often ride out side by side \ happy family indeed They have a young Velocipede When I'm held up by trafiic cops I often envy Bicyclops Friendly Feeling nd (‘phoning)—How is Mr. Brown? Nurse—His heart stopped beating at 2.10. Friend—Is his condition satisfactory other wise? The Proof of the Gamp is the Leaving Howard—Don't you believe that people ever pick up a wrong umbrella, hat or coat by necident? Jay one they Ie: No, never! And the proof is that the ve behind is always inferior. Dear Doctor What do you charge, Doctor? Five dollars for a minimum. And how much for # stomach-ache? Caller Doctor Caller Cost Adam a Good Deal Food prices are high, but, after all, the apple that Adam ate proved a pretty expen sive meal. The Donkey to Success The horse has been replaced by the auto. mobile, but there is notbing to take the place of the jackass Shave With Without Mug Supply and Demand This year the Bell telephone system has required 75,000,000 pounds of copper; 10,000 tons of galvanized iron and steel wire; 12,000 tons of pole line hardware; 100,000,000 pounds of lead; 1,000,000 pounds of antimony; 700,000 pounds of tin; 10,000,000 pounds of sheet and rod brass; 15,000 tons of paper for directories; more than 24,000,000 feet of lumber; 12,- 000,000 feet of clay conduits; 10,000,000 glass insulators. These are only some of the chief requirements, only a part of the absolute essentials. Suppliers of every item mentioned, as well as of scores of other items, have been compelled to withdraw promises of delivery, | reject orders, refuse contracts and even shut down plants. The reasons arc that they have been unable to secure materials for manufacture, fuel for power, or cars for shipments. During the period in which the demand for new telephones has been greater than ever before, supplies have been more se- verely curtailed than at any time in the history of the Bell System. Special rep- resentatives have scoured the country; visiting mines, factories, laboratories, ship- ping points; and rushing goods forward. The impressive conclusion is that, in the face of such conditions, the Bell System has actually gained on demand and has exceeded all previous records in putting in new telephones. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY One Policy é AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES One System And all directed toward Better Service Universal Service Precedent Agrees “T know a way to get rid of Villa.” “What is it?” “Make him vice-president of Mexico.” Lamb's Wool Banker Otis—That’s mighty nice fur coat you have Broker Chester tomers contributed for that coat lined! Yes, some of my best cus It’s fleece: The Ruling Passion “Don't yeu want to leave footprints on the sand of time?” I do not. I'd rather leave motor tracks.” A Winner Benham—1 don’t think you necd any more clothes. Mrs. Benham—I\ don't, if vou want me to win the prize offered by our society for old- fashioned costumes.