Judge — September 4, 1920 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, Lines Written in Support of the Belief That the English Language Is Not as Simple as It Might Be “COPE liquor U've purchased enough,” hnny in accents quite grou es me so ill “When [ think of the bill “That [ll have to abstain from the stough.” A green apple hung on the bough Of a tree which was shading a sough I should like it,” she thought “If the fruit could be bought “But the dificult question is, hough?” Princeton Tiger. 1920 S doesn’t evi Gosh! o'clock, ar * Fine!” ten hours a S WILL MAKE A WHALE OF A STORY HOAs THE FISH sWwaALtownD mim. — Ya! Corroborative The Professor collector, you say? Did you teil him I was out? The Factotum—Ves but he believe me. have to go and tell him myself wouldn't Humph! Then I suppose Ill Michigan Woman! Little Boy—Mother, are there any men angels in heaven? Mother—Why, certainly, dear L.B.—But, mother, I never saw any pictures of angels with whiskers AM .—No, dear, men get in with a close shave. —Aggie Squid Damages Ambitious Auhor—Hurrah! Five dollars for my latest story! Fast Friend—Who from? Writer—The Express Co. Kansas Ag. Brown Bull They lost it.— THe Day « JUDGE COLLEGE WITS Joyous, Irresponsible Quite a Difference “Fair maid, may [come out to call? “Lm sure, sir, | don't getcha “Or may | take you to the ball?’ “Ah now E hear! You betcha! Cal. nia Pel Page Mr. Darwin! Teacher—Who was the first man? Tommy—Washington was the first: man; he was first in war, first Teacher —Oh, no! Adam was the first mat Tommy—Well, if you waking of foreign érs, 1 suppose he was.—Mass. Tech. Vou Doo some. mishay i far from ‘Toki ap, and then thi (checking up expense account)—It st. Fale Record. said the frosh, “here it is twelve I should leave at ten-thirty.” I his senior girl. “That gives us and a half yet."—Michig un Gargoyle HOHAS STOLEN MY HEART ly)—Sue cor 4 RATERS PIN AWAY Frost ste. (WHICH OF COURSE MEANS THE Sate THING, Oscan)—Dartmouth J Lanter New Janes for Old You can sty what you like of the old girl at home But give me a new one each week; I'm wise in the ways of the wild, wicked world, And words full of wisdom I speak If you rush a strange girl she will never get wise Yo the fact that your dress suit is hired. But old ones will note how much varies the size Of the tail-coat in which you're attired If you have a new Jane you are never afraid That your chatter is growing too stale; You can hand her the line that a week ago made You seem bright to another fair frail So, list to the wise words of men who have seen And know the things whereof they speak; Get a girl—rush her hard while you're at it but then War a Coen Feats ox Hen: Finst Get another one after a week v Tren—Mass. Teck. Voo Doo Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. 4 comicbooks.com