Judge — September 4, 1920 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

cannot be sincere. Then there is the boudoir mirror which, by the mere glance of My Lady—so delicately responsive its mechanism—is prompted to say," Prettier than ever, my dear’; those little atten- tions which husbands are prone to for- get and wives to miss, when the unsaid. the possibilities stagger one. the kitchen boiler which growls ominously but nevertheless in a spirit of friendly warming, “I’m about to blow up-up-up.” There is the water-back of the kitchen range which mechanically but thoughtfully exclaims, “In five minutes I burst. Get the plumber.” And oh, if the pipes in the walls (by simple cevice, of course) can only be fitted with power of speech so they can tell the plumber where the lak is before he rips open half the woodwork and then solders the wrong joint! But most joyous and welcome of all vocable contraptions is that which, attached to your neighbor’s overworked piano-player, will shout from its wiry lungs after three hours of physical tor- ture: “ Help! Police! I’m being murdered.” Drawn by Pact Rewtr Wuat a Movean Cow Srasce Is Like—Jupcinc rrom tue Price or Mix ° . Soapplicable The House Talkative Cleanliness is next to godliness. ‘The naked truth some- By Hanny Haaiutox times needs a Turkish bath HE invention of a talking clock by a mechanical wizard in Philadelphia should be followed up. If a clock may be fitted with phonographic apparatus, running the daily gamut from “Time to get up” to “Good night,” there is no reason why other domestic implements should not be similarly equipped, and housekeeping relieved of much of its irksomeness. Housekeeping is sometimes a lonely job. Many women com- plain of it. When Husband drops in at eventide, Wife says to him: “I certainly would like to go out; you men don’t know what monotony is; you'd learn, 1 guess, if you had to stay alone in a house all day.” Well, invention will change all that. The talking clock is but a beginning. By simple device—simple after the inventor has blazed the trail—the once lonely house will ring with merry voices, with the prattle of hardware and furniture. There will, of course, be the voice of the tea kettle which, as it boils, will sing—some simple vocal record, kettles preferring song—“ My water's getting low, my water’s getting low! Bet- ter fill me up, better fill me up!” Reaching a certain level, the water will release a spring, and start the works. Outside on the curb, the garbage can will cheerily hail the D. S. C. wagon and, in winter, mingle in duet with the family ash barrel. Down ays draw nigh, it will be a relief to know that the furnace can talk; that it can and will tell you (up a speaking tube) when it needs coal, when you have forgotten to shut the damper, when it is going out. ing with merry voices? Why the house will be as chatty as an afternoon Bridge. But these, notwithstanding, are mere vocal utilities, words that must be spoken. What we shall ask of our inventors ulti mately are household utensils mechanically courteous. A door “1 rent ven, Foie, THESE UNIONS 18 GREAT THINGS. will be a splendid novelty. The kind with Welcome stamped pooui so Wits hil Tuas mown? upon them are so perfunctory; one feels intuitively that they “T punxo, | Ain't HAD NO WORK YET.” Drawn by H. C. Guexstyo Ccomicbooks.com