Judge — August 28, 1920 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Choice of Evils—“Would you marry her just because she’s wealthy Don't you know she has a questionable past “Well, what of it? If I don’t ma her I shall have a questionable future. Boston Transcript. Preliminaries—“ Why,” sneered the business man, “do poets begin so many verses with the meaningless word ‘O!’?"" “And, whi humbly inquired Mr. Penwiggle, “do business men start so many letters with the equally meaning- less phrase, ‘Dear Sir’?”—IWashington Star. Its Kind—“I know a bird which without any superstition may be con- sidered one of illomen.” What is that?” \ round robin.” —Baltimore Ameri- can Never Die—“Doesn’t the high cost of living discourage you?” “Not at all,” replied the energetic citi zen. “It worried me at first, but I have decided to go right on living, regardless of the expense.”’—Washington Star. Eye-ronica “I BELIEVE YOU'RE WINKIN’ AT ME, YOU DARNED ONE-EYED MuTT!"”—Strix (Stock- holm). Feminine Trials “THat’s A PRETTY HAT OF yours! How LONG HAVE you HAD IT?” “A roxrsicut. But I's Goinc To RETURN IT; If ts TOO DEAR.—Le Rire (Paris). ONTHEFARM Even Scales—“Hiram,” said Mrs. Corntossel, “I haven’t heard of any- body sellin’ you a gold brick in a long time. “I never bought but one,” was the rather indignant reply. “And I guess I’ve rung in enough imitation butter here an’ there to get even with them city folks several times over.”—Washington Star. Facilities at Hand—‘ You ought to have an art gallery here in Chiggers- th’ use?” asked 'Squire Witherbee. ‘Whenever I get a hankerin’ for art, I just stroll down to Lem Bottom’s newsstand an’ look at th’ covers of next month’s magazines.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. An Exodus Halted—“Why do so many young men want to leave the farm “Hadn't noticed that they do, " re- plied Farmer Corntossel. “ Most of ’em around here seem to have discovered that a heap harder to eat without workin’ e city than it is at the dear old Washington Star. 2 Wasn't Open—A rather green coun- tryman had just returned from his first visit to New York. “Well, Si,” said the postmaster, “ what did you think of the metropolis?” “What say?” gawked the other, stumped so big a word “T asked how did you like the metrop- olis?” “Oh, that—'twan’t oper Boston Transcript. A Duty to Art—“ The new hired man puts in most of his time teaching Josh to throw somersaults and make dare-devil commented Mrs. Corntossel. replied her husband. “I don't know what todo about it. I hate to have work stopped on the farm; and at the same time I don’t want to spoil our son’s future by interferin’ with his chance of becomin’ a great motion picture star.”’— Washington Star. His Off Day—Barnes—I was watching that farmhand over at Furrows yester- d And what happened? “Why, he didn’t move ten feet in an hour. “Oh, well you ought to have seen him tod. 1 he move faster today?” Yes, a little faster. Furrows had him out in his flivver.”—Yonkers States- man. Commi oaks con