Judge — August 21, 1920 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE COLLEGE Irrepressible, Love Gone Astray He blushed violently as he broached the subject. “Azalea, er ould I er— see your father for a—er second?” he asked shamefacedly. Azalea heard her abashed lover's request with pleasure. She knew what was coming. “Certainly, Anaximander,” she replied. Presently Azalea’s cld man came in, and after a short conference with Anaximander he summoned his daughter. With a beaming face, Anaximander turned to Azalea and quothec “It's getting late, my dear, so I think I will say good-night. Shall I find you at home on Wednesday?” Azalea assured him that he would, and Anaxi- mander was soon sp ng cross-town in a trol- ley car bound for home. “Oh, father!” she burst out eagerly; he uf “You must net ask questions,” replied the old man. “Mr. Jones wished to see me about a mat- ter which, for the present time, must remain a secret “T know, father,” pleaded the girl, “but you might give mejusta word. Please?” she prayed. “Oh, well,” he said indulgently; “since you must know, he wanted to know if I had a match.”"— Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Phyllis—I von’t sre wat Freo can see IN THAT GIRL HE HAS. Gillis—Homrnu; you pox't KNow wER As WELL AS Fre pors.—Cornell Widow. Joyous, She—Why do you insist on calling me your little cold cream? He—Because you're so nice to a chap— Williams Purple Cow. A Stickler for Exactness Young Lady (telephoning)—“Oh, Doctor, I forgot to ask about that eye medicine you gave me.” Doctor—“ Well?” Young Lady—“ Do I drop it in my eyes before or after meals?” —Cornell Widow. ; SHE MAS OUTGROWN HER VOICE BY Ten vears.''’—lowa Frivol. With Her When first I saw her she looked good, And as I lost in rapture stood, She gazed at me—I thought I would Wither. When next we met one winter day, My foolish fears were swept away, For she smiled when she heard me say, “Whither?” Now summer's here, oh happy time, Each day, I find, is more sublime, Than I have known before—'cause I’m With her! —Penn State Froth. 28 Irresponsible “Why pon’t you kiss ste ?""—sort sHe PLED, XD HE REPLIED—TO-WIT I WAS IN DOUBT—" AND THEN SHE SAID “Give Me THe BENEKIT.”—Princeton Tiger. Circumstantial Hattie—Deo you think he loves her? Mattie—My dear, I know it. I saw them come out of the study after the last dance, and her hair was a sight!—Williams Purple Cow. If If you hold her hand, she may think you fool- ish. If you don’t, she will wonder why. If you kiss her, she may think you a cad. If you don’t, she may think you slow. If you offer her a cigarette, she may be of- fended. If you don’t, she may think you consider her puritanical. If you tell her of the women you've met, she may think you a rounder. If you den’t, she may think you've had no ex- perience. If you tell her she is the first you have loved, she may think you lie. If you tell her she is the first you have kissed, she will know you lie. Now, what in hell is a fellow to do?—Pennsyl- vania Punch Bowl. Discreet Oswald—Why do you call that girl a dumb- bell? Oscar—I kissed her once and she never told. —Cornell Widow.