Judge — August 14, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of the World’s Humor ae nS Sy On the Hip—‘These prohibition times have got me kind 0’ dazed,” said Uncle Bill Bottletop. “When a man says, Hip, hip, hip,’ I don’t know whether he’s going to finish with three cheers or some- thing about liquor.” —IWashington Star, General Proposition—As a general thing, the kind of man who is willing to pay fifteen dollars a quart for crude white whisky needs a guardian more than he needs alcohol.—Dallas News. Voice—By Nor Ge Conditions Reversed—‘‘In the old Hans (Copenhagen). days I used to go on my vacation to get way from booze.”” be “And now?” a libe “Now it’s different ouisville Cour- was poured into ter-Journal. glass, “Any water, M Dilution Resented—The widow on the way back from her husband’s funeral stopped with her supporters at a house of refreshments. Gin was chosen as the Solved! Female Orator—How CAN WE REDUCE THE NUMBER OF DIVORCES? ge best suited to the occasion, and ‘al quantity ¢ ers asked her, holding out the jug. “Water!” sobbed the widow; “water! Mer: Good gracious, ain't I got trouble enough as it is?”—London Tit-Bits. The New Nobility—* Who wants to sce me?” The detective whom you have em ployed to trace your ancestry.” —Meggen- dorfer Blactter (Munich). A Humane Warden—The constable ew England village, a man of ex- ceeding good nature, found it neces- sary to lock up three tramps who had strayed into his jurisdiction, Shortly after the arrest he was met by the mayor of the village, who, observing the constable hurrying down the main street, asked: Where are you geing, constable?” Oh,” explained the constable, “the three tramps I just locked up want to play bridge and I’m cut hunting for a fourth!" — Harper's Magazi TTING MARRIED.—Alod. f the transparent fluid the bereaved lady’s ” one of the mourn- asad ¢ yn—Poor cow! Musta walked in ‘is sleep!—Syduey Bulletin. (Continued on page 20) arrests by other officers. The offenders outside of those ar- rested must exceed them by thousands and thousands, Among these law-made and unarrested criminals are the farmer who has permitted his cider to get too hard, the Italian who has fer- mented a little accustomed wine for his family’s daily needs and the wife of the workingman who has dared brew in her kitchen a moderate quantity of domestic beer to wash down her hus- band’s suppers It was high time that the saloon should go and with it its evil influences political and social, but for these we have perhaps substituted others that are worse. The 501, if there really were sor in ¢-ery thousand, have taken a heavy responsibility when, for what may be only a venial offence, they brand so many of their fellow-citizens as criminals. It is a serious matter for the whole nation to bring into the disrespect of a large proportion of the peo- ple its laws and even the Constitution itself. And figure the number of criminals when the use of tobacco is made a crime! RESIDENT WILSON has not recovered. He is still the victim of the same old obsession. No later than in his Sunday morning interview with Candidate Cox he still tied up his League of Nations with “The honor of the nation and the secure peace of the world.” Sober reflection has convinced most persons here and abroad that the Wilson League, even if formed without the dotting of an i or the crossing of a t in its terms, would by no means assure “the secure peace of the world.” President Wilson is practically alone in the belief that in his Parisian negotiations he either could or did pledge the honor of the United States to the adoption of his League ery one of those who negotiated with him was “upon notice” that he was not empowered to bind us to any such scheme. It must be rather discomforting to Candidate Cox if he thought that in the Sunday interview he was to be informed that he might loosen up a bit on the Wilson idea. Instead of finding the screws looser they were tightened to a point that may hamper his vote-getting ability. wv