Judge — August 7, 1920 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

L-¢ now. Now there is always the chance that the world, the flesh, and the devil may die or change their mind between ten P. M. and seven A. M. We would miss, too, that ad- venturous morning sen- sation when the sun is shining through the cur- tains and we smell coffee in the making. And there’s the rite of the morning newspaper, and dreams, where some of us find our only romance. Even if they are bad dreams, 00, prown by Pret R it is a worthwhile relief to wake in the darkness, we are alive with our watch under our pillow. As for the moralists! They should be all for sleep as itis. Think of the incalculable benefit wrought by sleepless nights of remorse! Wear-your lathe 5-4 You Daks Dupe! When Last Summer’s Snaps Are Developed By HO HIS one of Margaret would have been good if the cow hadn't scared her just as'I pressed the button.” “Doesn't it beat all how a light-struck picture always hap pens when vou've been extra careful! Just look at Baby's face!” “Here are two on one film. You can see part of the mill wheel in the lower right-hand corner, next to the cat’s tail.” “That o: sn’'t so bad. If you hold it in just a certain way Ul bet you can guess who it is.” “could have slapped Willie for making that face. He tried to tell me it was because the sun was in his eyes.” “Oh, don’t look at that one! Next year I am going to have a camera that you don’t have to focus.” Or a Pie-Eater Teacher (to history. class)— Can any one tell me what a pioneer is? Very well, Johnny, what is a pioncer? Johnny—Please, ma'am, a pioneer is a man who plays a piano! A Misnomer “Do you know what is meant by the expression ‘orig- inal sin’?”’ Drown by Carsten 1. Gaune There isn’t any such thing; He it’s all been done before.” Froor’s stirrery, isn’t rr? “Yes, sur wow pip you KNow?” Graft “Pop, what do we mean by police protection?” “By police protection, my son, We Mean put up or shut down,” A Reasonable Suspicion “Something mighty funny about this yur watch of mine!” grumbled a citizen of Straddle Ridge, Ark. “It hain’t kept no decent sort of time since 1 had the jeweler over at Tum ; linville fix it. First-rate goc wy watch, too! “How much did it cost you in the first place?” asked an acquaintance “Swapped a dog for it and Lil betcha, by cripes, That's what Til \ Parcu-worx Quitr! Go ox got a dollar to boot, nine years ago. that there cuss stole the jewels out of it betcha!” The Common Mould Cobble—Y ou're looking remarkably well, old fellow, Are you taking systematic exercise? Stone—Dear me, yes. I go to the Episcopal Church and read the Saturday Evening Post regularly The Thought That Tired of Waiting Mrs. Gadd (after the quarrel)—It is so provoking! To think that I could have squelched Mrs. Spink so casily instead of giving her the last word, Sym pathetic Friend Ard why didn’t vou, dear? Mrs. Gadd—Why, by the time I had finished what I was already talking about, the thing that I really wanted the most to. say had slipped my mind. Give Them Credit “T see two burglars, a man ard a woman, got into an unoc cupied apartment last night, and this momirg they refuse to be dislodged.” “Burglars rothing. successful house-hunters.”” They're Father's Vantage Ground Briggs—If you don’t like the movies, why do you go? Griggs—In self-defense. 1 would rather go and see them than have the members of my family tell me the plots Meaning You Most of us fellow profiteers sympathetically think of our- selves as the public every time we remark that the public is the goat. What we fail to remem- ber is that the public is a self- milking goat.