Judge — August 7, 1920 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Power of Imagination—‘ Ah!” ex claimed the genial visitor, “having a day dream?” Ves stid Mr. Glipping. “I was just speculating on how I'd invest the money if I were to win $100,000 in the Cuban lottery.” “A pleasant way to pass the time, ch?" “Far from it. I got so frightened at the possibility of making poor invest ments and losing it all that [I’m ir a cold sweat.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Dough by the Bushel—The depre- ciation of our currency today is nothing to be thought of in comparison with the slump in Confederate paper money after the Civil War. General Mulholland re- lates that shortly after Lee’s surrender, he heard wwo Confederate soldiers bar- gaining over a very ordinary looking to he “He'll do for my farm, John,” said one. “TM give you $20,000 for him “No.” said the other Give you $50,000." No.” ive you $100,000.” ot much!” replied the owner. “T just paid $120,000 10 have him shod.” Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph Counterfeiting the Spirits “THAT CLAIRVOYANT SAYS SHE SEES EVERY- THING, BUT SHE DIDN'T sev THAT] PAID HER witn A Leap coin.” —Le Rove (Paris), A Limit to His Love “You REFUSE TO BUY MEA NEW COSTUME; YET YOU USED TO SAY YOU'D GO THROUGH FIRE AND WATER FOR Sth!” “Bor, ay anise! T xiver saw I'p co mrovon THE BANKRUPTEY CouRT!”—Passing A Cheap Way Out—" Yeu've got in digestion; that’s what’s the matter with you,” said the doctor “Oh, that's what it is, then?” inquired the patient “That's it. Yor meat, I suppos “Thave; yes.’ “Well, now you're paying for it.” “Would you mind telling my butcher —YVonkers Statesman. ve been eating a lot of that, doctor? The Luxury Tax—.\ man went to one of the big furniture dealers to. buy a writing-table. Choosing one of the least pretentious pieces, he asked the price It was Soo francs, which scemed rather high. The shopman, however. added “We will add this little armch: It isn’t dear. Only 50 francs.” “No. don’t want it. [have quite rs. enough ¢ “Excuse me,” said the seller, “If you buy the desk alone I shall have to ask you to pay the luxury tax, which comes to 8o francs. But if you take the chair as well I shall be able to put down your purchases as a suite—office furniture. For this the tax limit is 1,500 franes, and I do not have to charge you on a pur- chase of 850 francs. Thus if you take the chair you save 30 franc d have an extra piece into the bargsin.” As a measure of economy the chair was bought.—Figaro (Paris). 2 Fruitless—Yesterday the cook being short of eggs, went out and had the ships lay two. None could be found in any of the hatches.—Arklight Sympathy—IVifey—The police won't let that blind pedlar stand on the corner ny more. Hubby—Poor man! That's the second time he’s lost his site.—London Tit-Bits. Shakespeare de Vere—Mr. J Thomas Looney has recently published a book identifying Shakespeare with dward De Vere, the seventeenth Earl of Oxford.—The Living Age. Too Suggestive—“Why do dentists call their offices ‘dental parlors’?” “1 suppose they think it would make their patients feel too bad if they called them drawing-rooms.""—Baltimore Amer can All That Is Left Is the Word—Ac cording to an Ohio professor the word “booze” was born as far back as A. D. 1300. Now it merely remains with us as a figure of speech.—Detroit Free Press comicbooks.com