Judge — July 31, 1920 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

July 31, 1920 Drawn by Carcner Serra OME persons collect stamps; others, souve nir postcards; still other and richer ones. rugs and porcelains; others still, gems. As for me, / collect spots. When you have a collection of spots, you are never at a loss for conversation. People who collect other things are obliged to say: “Come up tothe house some night; ['d like to show you my jades"; or pewter mugs, or old china, or whatever the collection may comprise. But. if your fad be spots, you have them, like the poor, always with you; and when conversation lags, you have but to point to your sleeve, or to the front of your coat, and exclaim brightly: “See that spot? I wouldn't take ten dollars for the memory that inspires. I got it last Jan- uary, just before Prohibition, the night four c us went to the Little Goulash restaurant.” You perceive the idea. Spots, if permitted to do so, vill almost invariably bring memories of merry tines, oF festive occasions. An ordinary fellow, out for an evening, be comes a perfect killjoy when something sticky or sauceful is spilled upon his clothing. Appar ently, he makes light of it, but in a few minutes he is picking at it with his fingernail. or rubbing it, or muttering to himself doing somethi: which proves him to be oblivious to all else, For him, the evening is over. Get him inter- ested, as you think, in something soothing, and all of a sudden hi sent, and you f: low his gaze down to the newly acquired spot. He stops talking—to scratch it. He stops listening—to scrape it. He sits in the most awkward and painfully unnatural posi tions for fear another spot will hit him. Just be. fore he starts for -ome he unbuttons his topcoat, after having caretu"'y buttoned it, and strolls. preoccupied, to the nearest light and there examines the spot to see if time has softened the blow, On finding that it hasn't, but on the con- trary, that it has dried the blemish into bolder, clearer relief, he says goodnight with something like a sob—and goes down the steps to scratch ye becomes shifty and ab- Tuere’s Many Fine New By Harry Hasiros the spot in the rays of a neighboring street lamp. “But.” [hear you sty, “spots do not last forever. They are not like pewter or old china. They fade in time, and then what?” Ah, that is just what I was coming to! It is true that sometimes, despite all you can do to preserve them, spots that you have cherished will wane and threaten to go out of pri! But there is a way out, a sure way. One of my most precious spots came from a splash of automo: bile oil. It struck me squarely in the left trouser-leg, and came (I saw it) from the car in which Marshall Joffre rode up Fifth Avenue, one memorable day. It was a splendid me- mento of the great Frenchman's visit. But in spite of everything I could do, the spot showed unmistakable signs of disappearing. What was to be done? Just this. I took thesuit toa neighboringtailor “Here's a suit I want cleaned,” I told him, Drawn by Pack Resiy Try Ax’ Do Ir—"Own Your Owns Hone” a Hobby No bluff if neces- “Not simply sponged and pressed like that. [ want you to send it aw sary, and have it dry-cleaned. Take time enough to clean it right. You understand?" He understood; and “by next weck Wednes: day” the suit was back. The tailor was proud of it. He had pressed it until it shone. And it was spotless! This is the infallible method. Twenty-four hours, and my Joffre souvenir lifted its head. Forty-eight, and it took noticeand nourishment, Seventy-two, and it was there in all its pristine beauty, completely restored to health. And not only it, but half a dozen minor spots trooped forth, souvenirs of occasions, which needed only the revamping influence of the cleansing process to flash back to prominence. By means of this co-operation with a tailor, spots may be made to last indefinitely, easily outlasting the suit. When the latter is no longer possible as wearing apparel, the spots may be preserved in the form of squares of cloth. Care fully cut them out and paste them, with identi- fying labels in an album, similar to a custom- tailor’s sample book. lesser For sheer novelty, in giving a guest a pleasant evening, there is nothing to surpass the Spot Album. It induces reminiscence, stimulates laughter, and leads to an informal exchange of spot experiences. Indeed, 1am endeavoring to interest parents of my acquaintance so that they will start Spot Albums for their children, begin- ning with such entries as: “Bits of Baby's frock, ruined by mucilage,” or purple ink, and extending through the varied and interesting blemishes of childhood apparel. Than a Spot Album there could be no more vividly accurate biography of the average boy. Asa sample of what can be done with spots when perseveringly cultivated, contemplate the Leopard. Considering that the Leopard is not endowed with human intelligence and that he knows nothing of the advantages of dry-clean- ing, his achievements are remarkable,