Judge — July 31, 1920 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JOURZALISM Changeable—“I'm afraid Editor Sp the Toadvine Claricn is a straddler in this campaign.” “Why se “The policy of his paper reminds me of we are having.” A the kind of weather And hoy “It's wet Birm, nd dry the nest.""— Lacked Press Agents—The king or- dered all the men to take the field. ‘The chance! mblingly approached the cthing. but his impatiently ken care he ex- or tr 1 whispered throne majesty shook his he “Let the publicity end be t u of by the women and children claimed ‘But the women and children,” ven or, “will have all they tured the chancell can do to till the soil, operate the fac tories, keep the forth.” Then let the publicity end take ¢ the king insisted, stubbornly you might ith valor 1 into urses open and so of itsell The rest expect. The war was foug was and brilliancy, but when it pass hi ory it did so with almost a total lack anything like distinction. —S+. Louis - Democrat. Glo The Home Town Fire Department The fire department made a record yesterday at the Wayne Fidler home when it received an alarm at 4:40 and returned to the station.at 4:55 firemen performed their settin apparatus with alacrity, excised the smoldering s the roof and debili- tated the functions of the blaze before it had time to gain sufficient momentum of strength to prove pernicious in its workings.—Valparaiso Vidette up of Got Off Easy Producer—Gian you Like Tuk snow. Do you KNOW, THEY ONLY GAVE ME A WEEK TO ucK iT? A Promoter Drops In—‘‘Is this the office of the Toadvine Clari¢ * asked the prospe rous looking stranger. “Itis,s ir,” replied the editor. “My name is Blobbs, sir, J. Vander- dyke Blobbs of New York, Chicago, Philadelphia and Boston.” “Glad to meet you, Mr. Blobbs.” “T’ve come here to do great things for your town,” “Do you mean to say you came all the from New York, Chicago, Philadel- phia and Boston just to do great things for Toadville?” “T did, sir. “Well, by gum, I'll give you a per- sonal notice in my paper, but I’m not going to buy any oil stock.”—Birming- ham Age- Herald. w A Hair-Raising Experience “PARDON, SIR, WOULD YOU BE KIND ENOUGH TO TAKE OFF YOUR HAT?” “Pardo, WILL YoU PLEASE PUT IT ON AGAIN?” —La Jour nal Am sant (Paris), mirerp—Rearty! You SHOULD HAVE HAD AT LEAST SIX MONTHS FOR A SHOW LIKE THAT! Reason in Rhyme—The attorney for the gas company orated at length con- cerning the virtues of his corporation client. “Tsay, as the poet said,” he stormed in closing, ‘Honor the Light Brigade.’ ” And out of the court room crowd came Yh, what a charge they made! rican Legion Weekly, His Advice—*A cat sits on my fence every night and makes the night hideous with his infernal row, Now I don’t want to have any bother with my neighbor but this nuisance has gone far enough, and I want you to advise me what to do. The young lawyer looked as solemn as an owl and answered not a word, “T have a right to shoot that cat, ve 12” “T would hardly say that,” replied the young lawyer. The cat does not belong to you, as I understand.” “No, but the fence de “Ah!” exclaimed the light of the law, “then I think you have a perfect right to tear down the fence!” —London Ideas. hav comicbooks.com