Judge — July 31, 1920 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eee a = frat pins, and I can’t Paul Pioneer Press A Limit “Young man,” said the fond father, giving you my daughter, [ have entrust you with the dearest treasure of my hifec.”” The young man was duly impres nd made no endeavor to conceal his emo- tion and his gratitude. ‘Then, during the few moments of impressive silence that followed, he heard the patter, patter of rain against the window. “Goodness me.” he exclaimed, “it’s raining and I haven't. my umbrella! May L borrow yours, sir, to keep me dry while I run to the station?” “Young man,” said the fond parent, “T do not trust anyone with my um- brella!”—Edinburgh Scotsman. to His Generosity “He is extremely much of the time se Modern Heroism—She (romantic- ally)—Oh, Dick, I wish you'd do some- thing brave to show your love for me He—Good heavens! Haven't [asked you to marry me despite the present high cost of everything?—Boston Trans cript Md Lady—Axp wn ACCEPT LESS THAN TEX Beggar—Wrtr, you His Prospects—Rick Parent—So you want to marry my daughter—and what are your prospect Impecunious Suitor—Simply topping— ours Tuas IN Tut unless you spoil them!—Pan (London). — Le Rire (Par: This One Tried It —sAngelinu —Ne Edwin, I never thought of you that way But U'll be a sister to you Edwin—No, thanks! 1 have a. sister who swipes my cigarets, socks, ties and Scansion—Blondince—L don’t know what to make of Bennie Beanbrough For! “vice-presideat—Any, cant Brunctta—I thought you were tryirg i to make a husband et him, thinks [am a poem.” Thinks you are a pocm?” “Well, when he is wi Voungstrwn Telegram Charity Extension MUCH LONGER NOW AND I ast BLIND “oRE afford another. Summer Feverlets ir president Any candidate who will guarantee to mean what he says. ate who will guarantee to say what he means. For the cabinet—A_ health officer.— Journal of the American Medical Asso- ciation, bashful or clse he h me he spends anning my feet.”"— A Slave to Duty—“I am not a candi- date,” says the average public man, “but if I can get it, in any way under the sun, I will take it.”"— New York Mail, he Crowd Snickered—Early Tues- day morning a Northwestern car, in- bound, reached Twenty-seventh and Clif- ton streets. In front of a nearby cottage stood a line of serious-faced men, and among them were two or three uniformed policemen. One male passenger, noticing the line, rushed to an open window and called ex- citedly to a diminutive newsboy stand- ing nearby “What's the trouble over there, boy?” Y DO YOU REFUSE TO “Nawthin’, it’s election day,” came sous? the answer, and the male passenger con- SE, THE DAYS ARE tinued to gaze sheepishly out of the win- dow, while the crowd snickered.—Jndi- anapolis News. FALL AND WINTER mitted to bring themselves to public notice at these quadrennial fracases is beyond computation. Considering all this allowed damfoolishness, it is remark- able that what the conventions accomplished is no worse than it is. HE. lately walloped Germans do not scem to recognize that they were walloped, judging by their preliminary attitude at the Spa conference In the days when there was beer, and big brewery wagons were navigated by big and befuddled German drivers, in cases of difficulty it used to take several policemen, some of the by- standers and numerous applications of hardwood clubs to his head to convince the German that he was not a super-god. Sometimes, even after he was locked in a cell, he would revert to the idea and try to fight his way out. This appears to be the trouble with our present Teutonic friends. They think they have the right to name the amount of the reparation instead of letting the Allies do it. The only proper repartee for this assumption seems to be for the Allied commissioners to say “Now then, gentlemen, lay your cards on the table of them, And face up, please. Then we'll tell you what we arc going to let you keep.”