Judge — July 24, 1920 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

lla = The “ Negligible”—The phrase, “The negligible in adventure,” titillates our fancy. While we are about it we pur pose compiling a list of the trials of domesticity which come properly under that head. We place these in the cate- gory of major offenses: Reading aloud. Listening to another person in the act of reading aloud. Entertaining at dinner the man you haven't secn for twenty years. Serving the tenderloin of the steak to a guest. Dividing the tenderloin of the steak with other members of the family. Winding the victrola. Being asked, “Aren't you ever coming to bed?” Cleaning a pipe. Looking for a corkscrew. Going to bed. Getting up. Explaining that the woman is an old friend—that you knew her when she was a girl and that you have always called each other by your first names. Playing cards with your wife. Playing cards for fun. Trying to throw away a used safety razor blade. Getting company cut of the front hall and through the street door. Sunday evening.—Public Ledger. Knew What Was What—Deschanel was right in refusing his wife permission to accept that $5,000 hat. He knows who will have to pay for the next one.— Paducah News Democrat. Second-Hand Information — “You used to take your wife’s advice about all your affai: “Yes,” replied Mr. Meckton. “But I had to quit it when she got to fooling with a ouija board.”—Washington Star, A Backhander— Hub—Did you take me for a fool when you married me? Wife—No, Thomas, I did not; but, then, you always said I was no judge of character.—Boston Transcript. Paying for Peace — Bacon — Your neighbor believes in peace at any price, doesn’t he? Egbert—I think he must. Haven't you noticed how expensively he dresses his wife?—Yonkers Statesman. The Long and Short of It ‘ Maiden Lady—How absurd that kind of skirt is; it makes a girl look shorter. Friend (contemptuously)—Y Too Late—Husband—You told me to buy something for you on my way from the office, but I couldn’t remember what it was, Wife (bursting into tears)—It is too late now; neither can I.—Boston Globe. Worse—“They say the cause of the quarrel was a letter his wife found in his pocket “One that he had forgotten to mail?” “No; one he had forgotten to burn.” — Boston Transcript Food for Inquiry Medical Examiner-—How is your appe- tite? Charity Patient—Why? Have you any grub?—Karikaturen (Christiania). ! and ijoolish men look longer.—London Mail. One of the Busiest—"“My father,” said the little boy, “is a numisma- tician.”” “Why, Johnny,” explained the teacher, “a numismatician is a coin collector.” ‘es’m. That’s what my father is, He's a conductor on a street car.”— Washington Star. Sparing Their Feelings—‘“ Wh: you call this fire a ‘conflagratio: asked the crusty city editor. ‘‘Accord- ing to your stery the damage done didn’t amount to $1,000.”" “There were fully 10,000 people pres- ent to watch it,” said the facetious re- perter. “Well?” “I didn’t. want to make it appear that they were wasting their valuable time.” —Birmingham Age- Herald. Speaking of Bones—Bacon—What were you two fellows having the row about? Egbert—Oh, just a little argument. “What about?” “The size of my head.” “Oh, that was the bore of contention, was it?”—Yonkers Statesman,